Page 458 of Pride Not Prejudice

Me: I wasn’t sure I would, either, but I figured—why not. I have nothing else going on tonight.

Decker: What are you up to this weekend?

Me: Took a run around the park, now I’m doing laundry and laying on the couch in a robe, flipping through reality TV. You?

Decker: Sort of the same, minus the running part, minus the laundry part, minus the robe part….

Me: LOL

Decker: Mostly just the part about the TV

Me: Very cute

Decker: I try.

I bite down on my bottom lip, thinking of ways to keep the convo clipping away, then do an internet search on the ‘best questions to ask your date.’

Me: If you were in prison, what’s the last meal you would eat?

Decker: Well, I HAVE been in prison and I really like the mash potatoes…

My eyes bug out.

Me: Wait. Are you being serious???

Decker: NO. LOL. My last meal would be steak, a good red wine, and cheesecake. You??

Me: Yum…! I think something similar but maybe throw a lobster tail on top of that steak, give me some kind of potato on the side, a vegetable, hollandaise sauce.

Decker: Uh. It sounds like you’ve given your prison meal a lot of thought. Is there something I should know about you?

Me: LOL only that I love food? No prison record, never gotten into any trouble if you don’t count trying to get my friends out of trouble in college.

Decker: Yeah, no—I don’t think that counts as trouble.

Me: What about yourself, have you ever found yourself in hot water?

Decker: Not that I can think of. I’ll let you know if something comes to me.

Me: Please do.

Decker: So, Ari—what are you looking for in a partner?

Me: Probably the same things you are; a person who enjoys going out—and staying in. I love dressing up and wearing heels. I’d love to date someone who can travel, who has some flexibility… obviously my dog must approve

Decker: A person? Not a man specifically? Ha ha

I cock my head, studying the sentence and the question, curious that of all the things I mention in that small paragraph, he would pull that one simple detail out.

Me: No, not a man specifically.

Decker: Ahh.

Ahh? What does that mean?

For the moment I decide to ignore it and move the conversation along, not needing to bother explaining myself to a man I haven’t met in person and may never.

I don’t owe him an explanation.

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