Page 71 of Out of Reach

Hawk had an odd look on his face, but it turned into an encouraging smile when he realized Jude was watching him.

Later, as he and Hawk were unpacking in Hawk’s old bedroom upstairs, Jude said, “Your family’s nice. I appreciated their advice.” When he turned from the closet, Hawk had that same look on his face he’d noticed a few times lately.

“What?”

“I knew you never felt close to any of your foster parents or siblings, but I never realized you were all alone. I guess I figured you’d made some close friends after you moved to New York,” Hawk said.

“I made a few friends at some jobs, but like with me, the work was a stepping stone to something else. We all lost touch. And when I started modeling, I quickly found that models don’t make good friends. Too competitive and suspicious. Other than Zion, who never modeled and therefore was different, and Sebastian, who I never got to know well, I didn’t really hit it off with anyone at Utopia. And work was all I did, other than hang out at Sam’s penthouse.”

Hawk was quiet. Sitting down beside him on the edge of the bed, Jude touched his arm. “What exactly is bothering you about that?”

“I should have tried to get in touch with you,” Hawk said, voice tight.

Jude chuckled. “I would just have hung up on you.”

“I knew you wanted to get away from me, but I should have realized how alone you were. But you seemed out of reach all the way in New York. I imagined you had a fabulous new life, when in reality you were alone and struggling. I was so blind.”

Squeezing Hawk’s arm, Jude smiled. “I’m fine. I’ve always been fine. You don’t owe me anything just because I latched onto you years ago.”

Jude watched Hawk’s face fall.

“It’s not like I never cared about you, Jude. I just didn’t know how much I cared until you left…because I’m a self-centered emotionally constipated horse’s ass,” Hawk said miserably.

Jude couldn’t help but laugh, which brought a small smile to Hawk’s face.

“Seriously,” he said after a moment. “It took you leaving for me to start to figure things out, but even then, I thought you were better off getting away from me. Now, I see I could have helped you if I’d just reached out.”

Sliding onto Hawk’s lap, Jude faced him. “Weren’t you listening to me just now when I said I’d have hung up on you if you’d called? I’m not kidding. I was angry for a long time. I didn’t want to talk to you. It hurt to leave you, and that pain had to go somewhere. Mine went into hating your guts. Sorry.” He smiled to soften the words. Cupping Hawk’s jaw, he leaned in and pressed their mouths together in a soft kiss. “I’m not angry with you anymore, just so you know.”

Hawk’s arms wrapped around Jude. “Good. And from now on, you can count on me to be there for you when you need me.”

They kissed for several minutes, deeply and softly. When they pulled apart, Jude sighed.

“What?” Hawk frowned.

“I’m worried about Zion. I feel like he’s in a similar situation, although he has his sister.”

“Mal will stay in New York until he feels okay about leaving Zion,” Hawk assured him. “He’s a good guy.”

Jude nodded. He believed that. His thoughts turned in another direction. “What about Seb?”

“I’ll try to find out how he’s doing,” Hawk promised. Jude had to be satisfied with that. He and Seb hadn’t exactly been close, but finding out that he’d been a victim for months made Jude sick to his stomach.

“What do you say we go look around town?” Hawk suggested, patting Jude on the back.

Sliding off Hawk’s lap, Jude asked, “Can we go to the roller rink? I’ve always wanted to do a couple’s skate.”

“I haven’t skated in years,” Hawk said. “I’ll probably fall on my ass.”

“I’ll pick you up if you do,” Jude promised, then laughed with Hawk at the very idea. No way Jude would ever be able to pick Hawk up, especially wearing a pair of roller skates.

They invited Lizzy and Brandon to go with them, and Jude thought Hawk’s sister seemed very pleased.

Jude had been serious—he’d always wanted to try roller-skating. He’d ice-skated a lot when he was younger and found roller-skating wasn’t much different. He caught on quickly and was soon able to skate without Hawk helping him keep balance. When the lights went low and Troye Sivan began crooning “Angel Baby,” Hawk took Jude’s hand in his.

“Here’s our couple’s skate, boo,” he whispered in Jude’s ear.

Jude made an incredulous face. “Boo?”

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