Page 29 of Sebastian

He grins and every piece of conversational small talk I’ve ever learned goes poof from my mind. All I can think about is that I’ve been naked with this man. I’ve had his cock down my throat and up my ass. We’ve kissed so deeply that it felt like he was sucking my soul out of my body.

It’s suddenly really hot in the apartment.

God, this is… whew. I’ve worked with a lot of guys over the years. Some really hot guys, some guys I ended up dating for a while. But even with the ones I thought I had a lot of chemistry with, it’s never been like this. Like it’s hard not to stare. It’s hard to keep my hands to myself. It’s hard not to crawl into his lap and shove my tongue down his throat again.

Jesus. I shift around, trying to find an angle that doesn’t make my cock bulge too obscenely in my jeans.

Christian takes a swig of his beer. “You wanted to talk about the video?”

“Right, yeah, I do. Um, so I think we need to come up with a story.”

Christian’s brows furrow. “A story?”

“Yeah, because people are going to ask. Like, how did we meet? Why did you agree to film the video with me? Especially since you’ve been retired for so long.”

The more I talk, the deeper Christian’s frown gets until he’s full-on scowling at the coffee table. Shit, he’s not happy. I should’ve anticipated this. He was so private about why he retired, why wouldn’t he be equally private about why he’s coming out of retirement.

“Is that, um, okay?” I ask, all the earlier fluttering in my stomach turning into one solid mass.

His gaze snaps to mine but it still takes a few moments for his scowl to dissipate. He takes one of his deep breaths, his chest expanding under the loose fabric of his tank top. “I guess so.”

Which sounds a lot more like “no” than “yes.”

“I mean, we can just, like, make something up. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. It doesn’t even have to be the truth, if you don’t want. It’s just better for us to be prepared than be… you know.”

He nods even though he’s still tense. His hands have curled into fists and he shifts to lean forward and sets his elbows on his knees.

Double shit. I hadn’t mentioned the need for a story before we started filming. It’s something I should have thought of, but I was so caught up in the excitement of getting to shoot with Christian that it never crossed my mind. It’s something he should have factored into his decision and it’s my fault that he didn’t have all the information he needed.

“I’m sorry!” I blurt out. He’s already signed the contract, so legally, I have the right to publish the video. But there’s no way in hell I’m doing that if he doesn’t want it out there. The video is going to bring a lot of attention down on him and the last thing I want is for him to regret what we did.

It’s fine. Even if I’m the only one who ever gets to see the footage, it’ll be worth it. It’ll be my little memento, my souvenir. If that’s all I get out of this interlude, then that’ll be enough.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHRISTIAN

“I’m sorry!”

I snap my head around to find Sebastian halfway to his feet. I stand with him. “What do you have to be sorry for?”

“I should’ve told you before we filmed that we’d probably have to do this.”

I don’t really see where he’s going with this. “Did you purposefully not tell me?” That doesn’t seem to fit with everything else I know about Sebastian.

His eyes grow wide. “No, of course not! I just didn’t think of it beforehand. But I was telling my friend about our video and he reminded me that people are going to ask.”

Sebastian is wringing his hands in front of him and I take them into mine. Those poor fingers. They don’t deserve that kind of treatment. I pry them loose and then drag him back down to the couch.

“Then you have nothing to be sorry for. You can’t tell me something you didn’t even think of.”

“But I should have thought of it.” The self-recrimination in his voice makes my heart hurt. He’s so hard on himself, expects so much of himself. It can’t be healthy.

“Sebastian, I should have done hundreds of things in my life. No one is perfect.”

“I know that. It’s just—”

I put my hand on his shoulder, then slide it up so I’m cupping the side of his face. “Hey, no exceptions. No one is perfect, not even you, and that’s okay.”

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