Page 27 of Sebastian

And it wasn’t just his monster cock.

That scene with Christian was more than good sex. It was… something else. I don’t know how to explain it. The way our naked bodies came together, raw and primal. The connection we had when I looked into his eyes. I’ve never experienced anything like that before—not with performers I’ve worked with, not with anyone, period.

I shake my head and hit save a million times before setting my laptop aside so I can stand up and stretch. My muscles protest the movement and I lean into the stinging pain. It’s a reminder of what happened, that I did a scene with Chris Preacher.

The thought draws me up short and makes me feel a little icky for some reason. I mean, I did do a scene with Chris Preacher and that’s like, fucking cool. But to whittle down what we did to such a simple descriptor feels… wrong. It didn’t feel like merely a scene, certainly not one between two professionals who are well-versed in having sex on camera. When we were on that bed, when Christian was inside me, I didn’t feel like Sebastian Silver and he didn’t feel like Chris Preacher. It felt like we were just Sebastian and Christian.

I shake my head again. God, what am I doing? I getting too attached, too emotional about a simple video. I grab my phone and pull up the text thread I have with Noel.

Sebastian: This video is going to blow your mind.

I go searching for a snack in the kitchen and Noel’s response is waiting for me when I pick up my phone again.

Noel: The one with Chris Preacher?

Sebastian: Yeah, it was so fucking hot.

Noel: Did he ever tell you why he quit porn?

Sebastian: Fuck you. No, he didn’t and I didn’t ask.

Noel: People are gonna wanna know.

Sebastian: It’s none of their fucking business.

Noel: Just sayin’ *shrug emoji*

I huff and drop my phone onto my bed. It shouldn’t matter why Christian quit porn. It’s no one’s business but his own and he doesn’t owe anyone an explanation.

Except, Noel’s right. As soon as this video hits the internet, fans and industry people are going to swoop down on us, and the first thing they’ll want to know is why Christian’s come out of retirement now—with me. We need to be prepared with an answer, even if it’s a fake one.

I switch over to the text thread with Christian.

Sebastian: Hey, so… just wanted to check in with you before I post our video.

Three dots immediately pop up on the screen and I’m all bubbly inside knowing that Christian is on the other end of this invisible line.

Christian: Sure. I’m done at 7 tonight.

I’m about to suggest a phone call or maybe meeting up, but the three dots are still bouncing up and down. I never know whether that means someone is actively typing or whether they’ve got their cursor blinking, waiting for me to respond.

Christian: Want to have dinner?

I stare at the words as my heart rate goes through the roof. Do I want to have dinner with Christian? What kind of question is that? Hell, yeah, I do.

Sebastian: I’d love to. Let me know when and where. I’ll be there.

Christian: How about my place?

Uh… Christian’s place? That’s like… like we know each other, like we could be friends. The whole of my being gloms on to the idea. I could be friends with Christian, this super hot older man who is nice and kind and the fulfillment of all my wildest dreams. My hands shake a little as I’m tapping out my response.

Sebastian: Yeah, sounds great!!

I hit send and curse. Should I have used two exclamation marks? It’s probably too much, right? Overly excited? One would have been enough. Or maybe none because I’m supposed to be professional. Exclamation marks don’t scream professional.

Christian: Looking forward to it.

See? Christian didn’t use any exclamation marks. I drop my head into my hands and groan. Why am I like this? I know that punctuation doesn’t matter. Who cares if I used one or two. So what? But my brain can’t let it go. Goddamn brain.

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