Page 35 of Dead Woman Walking

“For?”

“Being rude to myself.”

He shakes his head. “Don’t be sorry to me, Artemis.”

“I don’t think… I’m ugly,” I confess, turning to him. “Sometimes I do, but you know… these last few days, I’ve been thinking about the past and howtheymade me feel.”

He reaches up and cups my cheek. “That was years ago, Artemis. You spent years trying to fix what they did, and recreating yourself. You can’t let yourself break now. You’ve come so far.”

My throat tightens.He is right. I spent a long time unable to do certain things and unable to function. I hit rock bottom and figured there were two ways out. Six feet under that rock bottom, or the only other way up. I changed my life, went to therapy, got spiritual, and recreated my life. But now I’m letting some dead fucks ruin what I did.

“You just need time to adjust and to refocus on your life. They have no control over you anymore, and that’s why we did what we did.”

My lips press closed, and I chew on my lower lips. “I know… but shouldn’t I feel… guilty for it?”

He shakes his head. “Do you think they felt guilty?”

“Fuck, no. It was a joke to them.”

“Exactly. Fuck them and stop letting them rule your life.”

I smirk a bit, touching his pecs. “Thank you, Evander.”

“You’re welcome, baby,” he mutters, pulling my body flush against him. “I wanted to gut them and lay all their organs out. Like they were a frog being dissected, but Ky said that would be too messy and take too long.”

“I should have kept their hearts,” I suck on my teeth. We share a smirk before we let out a laugh.

He laughs heavily, and I swear that sound is my favorite ever. “Have you ever seen a real heart?”

“Of course not!”

“Missing out,” he chuckles, smoothing my hair at the back of my head.

“When have you seen a real heart?”

“My first kill I went too far. Kyler had to stop me, but that was after I carved his heart out and stomped on it.”

My throat dries a bit. “You’re first ever one?”

He nodded. “My father.”

My eyes scan the ivory scars on his pale body, and I mutter, “He deserved it…”

“Yeah, he did. There’s only so much a kid can take before they explode. I hit my limit that day. He hit Ky, broke his nose, and knocked him out. When he came to, he stopped me from breaking our dad’s teeth against a curb. He was dead though and wouldn’t have felt it.”

“I’m sorry you didn’t get to do it.”

He smirks down at me.

And then he did some time; not too much thank god. They had countless reports sent to CPS, but they never took them from the abuse. Instead, it went too far and Evander snapped. I met him first during our time in the psych ward, and for a kid that went through so much abuse and trauma, he had a kind soul and was the least insane person in there.

9

I enter the tattoo shop, fingers playing with the holes in Evander’s sweater I am wearing as a dress, with a belt around my waist to help give it a figure. Then I have my normal boots and fishnets on. Jax’s tattoo shop is covered in flash sheets on the wall and animal bones in jars. Neon signs cover one wall with an old slot machine against it.

“Hello, Artemis!” The secretary, Becca, beams, curls bouncing as she stands from her desk. “Jax is just finishing up.”

“Okay, thank you!” I say, taking a seat in the waiting room. It doesn’t take long for a customer to come out, pay, and leave. A few minutes later, Jax follows.

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