Page 40 of The Lake House

I shrug. “Because I don’t want to get hurt again.”

She nods. “I know that. But your relationship with Todd has nothing to do with what you could have with Declan. He’s not the same guy. He’s not even close. Todd was a dick, and he’s been one for a very long time. Declan is not that type of guy.”

She’s right. I can’t even begin to compare Declan with Todd. And I have to believe what she’s saying about Todd because she’s not the first person to express her negative feelings about my ex. Not many people liked him. I just could never see it before. But now I see what they were all saying.

“Yeah,” I breathe out. The thought of everything she’s saying is exhausting. I’m ready to head home and go to bed.

“I’m serious, Giules. You’d better get a move on or you’re going to lose him to some hoochie just waiting to pounce on him.”

Letting out another sigh of frustration, I reply, “I know,” and let my head bang down onto the table.

What the hell am I going to do?

* * *

Once we finish up at dinner and then head home, I lock up the doors and head right upstairs. I’m exhausted and all I want to do is bury myself under my covers and smash my face into my pillow.

But first, I need to undress.

I slip out of my clothes, not even bothering to throw on a T-shirt or shorts, and walk into the bathroom. I flip on the light switch, toss my clothes into the hamper, and quickly brush my teeth. I was going to skip it tonight just because I’m not in the mood, but I decided against it.

I glance over at myself in the mirror and frown. I’m not a bad-looking woman. Hell, I’m pretty. I know I have a lot to offer a guy, so why the hell did my marriage crumble? Why the hell did my husband find another woman more attractive than me to make him cheat?

I point at the mirror. “Because he’s a fucking asshole with a problem, and you know that. Stop making excuses for yourself and take a chance with Declan.”

My eyes widen at how easily I said his name out loud. But it’s true. I need to. I have to figure out a way to do it. I don’t want to lose my chance with him, if I even still have one.

I need to make one. The next time I see him, I’m going to make sure I ask him out. Who cares if I do it? Women ask men out all the time. Why not me?

I settle on this revelation, give myself another glance, and finally smile. Fuck this. Fuck everything. I’m going to make myself happy for once. I’m going to do this for myself. For Liv. For everyone who ever thought Todd was no good for me… which pretty much sums up the whole damn human population.

I chuckle, and just as I’m exiting the bathroom, I notice something twinkling in the closet.

What the hell is that? I’ve never noticed that before.

Looking harder, I realize the twinkling is a lock, which is attached to a box. I know I’ve already been here a bit, but I haven’t really turned the place upside down yet.

Deciding to check it out, I turn off the light in the bathroom and walk toward the closet.

As I step foot inside, I see the box all the way on the top shelf. I reach up onto my tippy toes and bring it down.

It’s a pretty box, rectangularly shaped. It’s white with pink and purple azaleas hand painted all around it. I run my fingers over the writing on the top.

Beverly Ann Bianchi.

My grandmother’s name.

My eyes well up with tears. How I miss her so much… I wish I would have had more time with her. And my grandfather, Anthony, too. It’s all my fault, though. I should have been around more often. I should have come and not given a damn about what Todd thought.

Asshole.

I hate he stole the time I could have had with them. Who knows what other memories we would have made. Who knows what else I missed out on not spending time with them when they needed me most.

I walk it over to my bed and suck in a breath. I grab the lock on the front of the box and notice there’s no place for a key to be inserted into. As I fumble around with it, it twists and the box springs open.

Well, that was easy. Thank God, because I wouldn’t know where to look for a key.

Inside are a ton of pictures of my grandparents taken over the years at the lake house. I also see a couple pictures of me when I’d visit over the summer months. One in particular grabs my attention. It’s of me and Grandpa on his white rowboat on the lake. It brings a small smile to my face as the memory from way back comes crashing to the front of my mind. I had forgotten all about the times he used to take me out on his boat. I used to love it. Sometimes, we’d spend hours on end on his boat.