Page 37 of Two Is Better Than One

His gaze scanned my face. "I thought we knew that's what was going to happen," he said.

"And you're still fine with it?" I said, feeling tender and melancholy.

"No, I'm not fine with it. But I'm leaving in two days, and I'll be gone for four months, at least. London."

"Tell me where you are," I said. "If I get a weekend off, I can come see you. London's not that far."

"I can't. I can't, my girl. I can't even talk to you when I'm over there. I wish I could. I would have to quit my job for us to be able to see each other regularly and have a normal life. It's all or nothing with what I do. The only reason I was able to do this now was because of my injury."

"And that's too much for me to ask…" I said as a statement and not a question. I stared downward, looking absentmindedly at his chest.

"It's not that it's too much to ask, Summer. It's not just about me. It's not as simple as that. You've already said that you can't… you know you can't have a thing with the bodyguard. It's cliché, and you're not like that. This is reality. You're a gigantic star. You would have to deal with public backlash. Walking away from a career is more of an impossibility for you than it is for me."

My face scrunched up and I made an expression like I didn't want to think about any of that. I was desperate to say anything to make Casey stay with me forever.

"When you go to London, will you be able to talk to me at all? On the phone?"

"No. I won't. I'm sorry." He absentmindedly rubbed my back, and I could tell he meant both things. He could not talk to me, and he truly was sorry about it. He held me on his lap, wrapping his arms around me tightly. "I will miss you, though."

"Casey, I'll miss you, too. I don't know what to do. How did we get to this part where I'm already thinking about saying goodbye? I'm working today and tomorrow, and then you're gone after that."

"Yeah, that's true, but look where we are right now. Right this second, I'm here, and I have you in my clutches." His voice dropped to a lower, slower, ominous tone when he said those last words, and I buried my face in his neck, closing my eyes and wishing I could stay right there, on his lap, forever.

I was barely able to enjoy the bliss when I heard the door. I moaned for a second, but almost instantly, I got off of his lap and stood up. He was still sitting there, and my legs were in between his. He nudged his chin at me, and I leaned down and kissed him because I just couldn't stop myself.

I took a step back as soon as I did, and I could see Brooks, coming inside the door. He caught sight of me just as he came inside.

"Casey's here," I announced to him. "He's right here. We were just in here talking about AJ."

"Oh, is AJ coming today?" Brooks asked.

"No, he's still sick. He's feeling better than yesterday, though."

Brooks came further into the room to talk to us. He was holding a bag of whatever he had gotten from the lobby.

"Also, Casey talked to that guy, and he didn't do it to AJ."

"Oh, are you talking about what Allie was saying? That artist didn't poison him?"

"No, he didn’t," I said. "Casey went over there and made sure."

Brooks flinched, staring at Casey and making an expression like he was impressed. "He went over there?" he asked, focusing on Casey who nodded with a confident, easy half-smile.

"Wow, okay, well, Allie's going to feel better. She was worried about that. I talked to her this morning about it. I thought she might ditch us and go see AJ again."

"No, she's coming with us," Summer said. "But I'm really sorry about AJ. I hate having stomach stuff."

Brooks nodded. "We'll get to see him for the rest of the month, though. He said he'd stay on for us once you have to go back to work, which is great."

I felt comforted at the thought of having AJ around for an extended period of time. But then that comfort faded because, honestly, it wasn't good enough. AJ was a connection to Casey, but it was Casey, the actual person, who I needed in my life.

I went into the kitchen and did normal things like make myself a glass of water and sit down to drink it. But my mind was swimming. I had all sorts of sad, hopeless thoughts, stuff that made me think of hot-tempered things like wishing I had never gone to Florida in the first place.

I might have been better off not knowing Casey at all then knowing him this much and not being able to have him. I contemplated that as I sat there in the kitchen, staring into space. Casey and Brooks carried on a conversation and I completely zoned out, in my own feelings. People say it is better to have loved and lost than to never loved at all, but I don't know if that's true. Or maybe, in this case, I just didn't get enough of it to make the heartache worth it.

"You're not getting sick too, are you?" Brooks asked. His voice was aimed at me, and I snapped out of my daydream and glanced at him. "Are you okay?"

I realized that my expression must've reflected my hopelessness, and I pasted on a small smile. "Yes, I was just thinking—spacing out. I'm fine. I'm good. I know we need to leave in a little bit. I'm going to finish getting dressed."

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