Page 35 of Diamond Angel

“Some lies are meant to protect.”

“Like the ones you tell yourself?” Ilarion fires back, moving closer to me.

That’s the thing about him: he doesn’t give me room to wriggle out of a tough spot. To pretend as though there aren’t cracks in the foundation. Sometimes, denial is an act of self-preservation, too.

He won’t stand for it.

“You and Celine are married, Ilarion. And in our family, marriage is for life.”

He rolls his eyes. “For the love of God—”

“Have some respect for us, for once!” I keep my voice low, so it comes out in a whispered shriek. “We actually value things, things you obviously don’t understand.”

“Oh, believe me, I understand.” He glowers at me. “The only thing I don’t understand is your inability to see past your own stupidity.”

I grind my teeth, then point to the door. “Get out.”

“Make me.” He knows I can’t. When he sees me hesitate, he rolls his eyes again. “She’ll be mad for a time. But she’ll get over it.”

“And then what? We all live together like one big, miserable, dysfunctional family?”

His eyes cloud for a moment before it clears again. I get the feeling he’s not telling me something. Actually, he’s probably not telling me a lot of things.

“The trick is not to think too far into the future. Just think about now.”

“If only my brain was wired that way.”

He’s standing right in front of me now, radiating the same intoxicating musk he had when we first met. I feel the same way I did then—confused, overwhelmed, more asleep than awake.

“Did you ever even consider staying?” he asks softly.

I can’t look him in the eyes. “Of course.”

“But…?”

“But I was scared.” It comes out in a shaky whisper. Fuck, I wish I could last longer before he wrung the tears from me. “I was fucking terrified.”

“Of your sister?”

“And you,” I mumble.

His eyes are bright and piercing. “I’d never hurt you, Taylor. And you know it.”

Do I? I know he’d never raise a hand to me—but what about my heart? He’s already smashed it to pieces and ground those pieces to dust. What’s stopping him from doing it again?

“Why go there?” I ask desperately. “It’s done, Ilarion. It’s over. We made a huge mistake, and it’s never gonna happen again. So why bring it up?”

He grabs my arm and pulls me towards him so that our noses are nearly touching. “Because it’s not over,” he growls. “It’s nowhere near over.”

Heat spreads through my arm like wildfire. I’ve never experienced anything remotely similar to this since I left. The desire that rises inside me is so definitive, and so visceral, that there’s no way I can deny it. I couldn’t lie to pretend it’s not there.

Even if that lie would save me.

“All the more reason you should just leave us here,” I rasp. “Forget that you ever found us. Let it end.”

“You know me well enough to know that will never happen.” His eyes flicker between mine. “And I know you well enough to know you don’t really want that.”

“Ilarion…”

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