Page 103 of Diamond Angel

“Maybe if you had listened to me, if you hadtrustedme, you wouldn’t be stuck in this position.”

I stare at him for a moment in pure, stunned disbelief. “Wow,” I say at last. “Just…wow.”

“You’re being dramatic.”

“Me? You just blamed me for everything. Where’s the accountability, Dad? Where’s the fucking honesty?”

He draws himself up to his full height. “I am still your father, and you still owe me respect. I’m not saying I haven’t made mistakes, but I have only ever done what I thought was best for you. YouandCeline.”

“Oh yeah, and that turned out real well, didn’t it?”

“Watch your tone, young lady!”

I shake my head, squaring my shoulders with determination. We’ve done this song and dance before, but not for a while. It had been so long that I actually believed we’d put some of this baggage past us. Then again, you can’t put anything behind you if it’s never truly been resolved.

I scrub my hands over my face for a moment and take a deep breath. “Okay,” I say. “Let’s try and have a real damn conversation for once, shall we?”

“That never ends well.”

“I’m not about to stop trying.”

“Maybe you should.”

I shake my head and squeeze my fists. “You don’t get to be angry, Dad. You’re right—you are my father and it was your responsibility to keep us safe. You might have stood a better chance of that if you’d just been honest with us from the beginning. Or, gee, I don’t know, if you hadn’t gotten involved withliteral fucking killers.”

His face is blotchy with heat and his cheeks look swollen. It reminds me of the first time Mom was diagnosed with cancer. He kept his heartbreak so close that it turned physical. It was like his emotion went inward and puffed him up from the inside out.

On another day, the reminder might have been enough to convince me to back down. But I feel as though I’ve spent my entire life backing down.

The time has come to stand up instead.

“Have you ever considered that if we’d known what to look for, we’d have known what to avoid? Orwhoto avoid?” I yell. “You tried to warn us of the outside world, but you never explained why the outside world was dangerous. If you had told us the truth, I would have known who Ilarion was. I would have known to stay away from him. Shit…youshould have known to stay away from him and his father.”

“Is that what you would have done?” he asks. “Or would you just find a reason to be with him?”

“Ex-cuseme?”

His eyes widen and his nostrils flare. He looks angry and frustrated at the same time. He also looks like he’s losing control. “Let’s face it, Taylor: you wanted to punish me. That’s why you jumped into his car.”

“That’s not true!”

“You were just trying to get back at me.”

“No!”

“You couldn’t stop yourself, even after you knew that he was Celine’s fiancé.”

I freeze on those words. It feels like he’s slapped me across the face all over again. I adjust my feet, and for a moment, I feel dizzy. So dizzy that I think I might tip over. My vision blurs and by the time I blink away the haze, Dad’s features come into focus, and his expression has changed.

He looks sad now.

He looks old.

He looks sorry.

“Tay… God. I’m sorry.”

I should leave, but I’m pretty sure that if I move, I’ll fall. I can see Dad reaching out to me, but I hold up my hand to keep him at bay. “Don’t.”

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