Alec was technically my first relationship, but since it was so short-lived, I never really count him. It feels unbalanced, though, given how much of an impact that whole ordeal made on my psyche. To be fair, that has more to do with Celine than the relationship. If I don’t count him as a boyfriend, maybe I can erase the fact that he ever was anything to us. And then I can forget the pain Cee endured.
For most of my brief foray into college, I didn’t have boyfriends; I had flings, sporadic and uneventful. It was easier that way. Safer. There was just a small stream—not even a stream, really; more like a trickle—of forgettable men.
Then, of course, there was Ilarion, who was anything but forgettable.
And after Ilarion came Callan. Who is…well, forgettable might be his best quality. Come to think of it, it might be why I chose him in the first place.
He’s sitting at a booth by the window when I walk into the café, wearing a button-down shirt and a nervous wince. He stands when he sees me, forcing a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Hey.”
We hug, but it’s awkward. I know right away there’s not going to be any small talk.
“You’re here to break up with me, aren’t you?” he blurts.
Bingo.
He’s ordered something that looks like an iced tea, but it smells strong. He’s two-thirds of the way finished with it. Might explain the subtle slur in his words.
“No,” he says before I can respond. “Actually, you can’t really break up with me, can you? We were never really together.”
I sigh and drop into the open chair. “I’m sorry, Callan.”
“It’s because of him, isn’t it?”
“It is,” I acknowledge. “But not in the way that you think.”
He frowns. “What do you mean?”
“He’s Adam’s father.”
He nearly chokes on his own tongue. “You’re screwing with me now.”
“I’m not.”
“Taylor.” That’s it. He just says my name as though that covers all his bases. He stares at me for a moment and then barks out a bubble of dark laughter. “Shit. You’re serious.”
“Why would I lie?”
“You never talked about him.”
“I did my best to avoid it.” I peek out the window, aware of how harsh that sounded. A few dusty cars sit parked outside the café on the opposite end of the street, but I can’t spot Ilarion in any of them. “I’ve spent a lot of time burying the past.”
Callan plummets down into his seat so hard that the wood squeals in protest. “So you’re back together with him. Just like that.” His voice is dead and flat.
This time, I’m the one who almost chokes on my tongue. “Excuse me?”
He just raises his brows. “Oh, come on, Taylor. You don’t expect me to believe that your relationship with him is platonic, right? Because any idiot can see through that. I hope you don’t actually think I’mthatstupid.”
Goosebumps erupt on my forearms. First, Mabel; now, Callan. Everybody seems to want the exact thing I’m trying to run from.
“It’s…complicated.”
“I hate when people say that,” he grumbles. “It just means that they don’t want to tell you the story.”
“In this case, it’s true.”
He waves his hand in a silentwhatever.“He seems like an asshole, by the way.”
I chuckle miserably. “Oh, he is.”