Page 68 of The Lessons

“Are you sure? Do you want some soda or anything? Maybe it will pass?”

I shook my head. “No, that’s okay. I know my body. I just need to go home and rest. Sorry. I should have called instead of trying to come over.”

“Nonsense. Let me take you home—”

I waved my hands and closed my eyes, fawning wooziness. “I’ll be fine. I’ll get a cab.”

“I’llget you the cab. Here, come with me.” Brad offered his arm as Ryan looked on. Brad was chivalrous. You had to give him that.

As we walked to the door, I could feel Ryan’s eyes searing into me from behind.

“Feel better, Natalie,” he said as he closed the door behind us. In reality, it was probably a murmur. But to me, it felt like a battle cry.

~

So pathetic. I was sofuckingpathetic.

Why, you ask? Oh, well, let me tell you why!

Because instead of calling Ryan or emailing him like a grown-up, I went back to the library on Sunday. You know, hoping that through some twist of fate, I might run into him again. Like he had nothing better to do than hang out amongst the stacks. I did the mental math. If he had checked out any books on the day we’d first met, they wouldn’t even be due yet.

Not. Even. Due. Yet.

So the chances of him being there were slim to none, but I went anyway and stalked the historical fiction section even though I really was not a fan.I spent three hours there, eventually positioning myself and my laptop at the most visible table. I knew it was the most visible table because I checked the angles.

That’s right. I walked around the library and spent time figuring this out.

Told you I was pathetic.

I rationalized I was there to work on my presentation, but I was only able to give it half my attention. Every few minutes some guy with a black jacket or dark hair would walk by and catch in the periphery of my vision, causing me to look up. Eventually it was five o’clock, and I heard a woman’s voice behind me start to tell us stragglers that the library was closing. I unplugged my laptop and started to pack it into my bag when the same woman approached me.

“Excuse me, the library is clos— Oh, hey, do I know you?”

It was Blondie McRockerston.

A.K.A. Ainsley. A.K.A. Ryan’ssister.

Jack-fucking-pot. I finished dropping my laptop into my bag and offered my hand. “Yeah, I’m Natalie. We met the other night at Brad’s.”

Yes— good job, Reese, yes,Brad’shouse. Not Ryan’s. Because,youdon’t know Ryan. At least, she doesn’t think you do.

“Oh, right…” I could see her connecting the dots in her mind. “I’m Ainsley.”

“Ainsley,” I repeated.

“Yup. Ain like Pain.”

I chuckled.O-kay, rocker girl.

“I, uh, I felt so bad I had to leave early,” I said, suddenly desperate to keep this conversation going. She was a link to Ryan. Ryan’s personal life. My mind was flying, trying to think of how to use this to my advantage.

What exactly I wanted to accomplish was still unclear, even to me, but still…

“Oh, yeah, that’s right. Are you feeling better?”

Good, she must have overheard the tuna sandwich story. “Um, yeah. Much better. Hundred percent.” I rubbed my forehead. “Listen, this is kind of random, but the library is closing, right? Do you want to run across the street and grab a coffee? I was thinking I might want to make things up to Brad, and maybe I could bounce some ideas off you?”

She trained her dark-rimmed blue eyes on me and then glanced at the clock on the wall. Great, I’d overstepped my boundaries, and now she was going to go home and tell Ryan all about the crazy psycho stalker chick Brad was dating. So I was super surprised when she replied:

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