Page 80 of Until the Ribbon Breaks

That was not the name I expected to hear.

“Sebastian?”

She nods, wiping another tear. “He likes you.”

“He doesn’t like me,” I tell her. “Not the way you’re thinking.”

“Yes, he does,” she says, turning back to me. “You two are constantly together.”

“We’ve known each other since we were kids, that’s all.”

“Then why was he holding your hand the other day?”

I sigh, hanging my shoulders because she has it all wrong. “He has a girlfriend. And when we get out of here, I seriously doubt we’ll be friends.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m a loser.”

She shakes her head.

“It’s true. Everyone at school picks on me, including Sebastian.”

She blinks slowly and casts her focus down to her feet as I consider how this is all going to play out. It hurts to think that everything would go back to the way it had always been. Truth is that I like Sebastian, but only the one in here, not the one at school—that guy is a jerk. But I’ve found myself relying on him lately, and the friendship we’re building in here feels genuine, but is it really? Or am I just so desperate for a connection that I’m misreading things—misreading him?

“I’ve never held a boy’s hand,” she confesses under her breath.

“Neither have I. At least not a boy’s hand that actually likes me.”

She lifts her attention to me.

“I’ve never had a boyfriend,” I say, blushing a little before admitting, “I’ve never even kissed a boy before.”

“Really?”

“Like I said, I’m a loser.”

“I don’t think you’re a loser.”

Cracking a weak smile, I tell her, “You might be the only one who thinks that.”

Another tear slips down her cheek, and she rests her head on my shoulder. As I lean into her, we sit in the dark room that’s witness to all of our insecurities. But within the past few minutes, mine have doubled.

“Sebastian isn’t worth your energy,” I say. “You don’t know him like I do—he’s a prick.”

But is he?

I don’t know.

I don’t want him to be because he’s the closest friend I have in here, and I’m scared to lose that. It worries me to think that these feelings might not be reciprocated on his end, that, in his eyes, I’m still just a freak.

When the light turns on, we jump and then see Shanice standing in the doorway.

“What’s going on?”

Max starts crying again, and when Shanice sees the vomit in her laundry basket, she calls for another nurse to come before walking over to where we’re sitting and laying a hand on Max’s back.

“Are you okay?”

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