Page 122 of Until the Ribbon Breaks

“It was bad enough losing Dad; I don’t want to lose you too.”

Her arms slacken and she draws back, looking at the pain in my eyes. I don’t try to hide it because I need her to see what she’s doing to me.

“Kurt is only using you; you guys are burning through Dad’s money. You really think he’s going to stick around when it’s all gone?”

“He isn’t like that.”

“He doesn’t even have a job. All he does is sit around, drink, and smoke weed.”

She shakes her head, and it pisses me off that she’s so clueless.

“Do you even love me?”

“Of course. You’re my son.”

“Then put me first,” I beg, my voice straining under all the hurt she’s inflicting. “I need you. You’re the only parent I have left, but Kurt has to go.”

“We love each other.”

“God, Mom.” I sigh, shaking my head. “You’re delusional if you think that.”

“You don’t understand—”

“I do,” I say as my anger erupts. “You need help.” I stand and yank my arms out of her hold. Staring down at her face, which is nearly unrecognizable, my heart pounds bitterly for how selfish she’s become. “Choose, Mom. Him or me?”

She shakes her head in disbelief that I would put that on her, but I don’t care.

“I’m serious. I’m over this.”

She opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. It’s when she gives me a defeated shrug that I know her answer. It snaps my heart in two, and it takes every bit of strength I have not to lash out and hit her. Instead, I swipe the liquor bottle off her nightstand and stalk out of her room.

“Sebastian,” she wails, but I’m done.

I go straight to my car, blast the stereo, and drive to the docks, which are now empty as the sun sets. Sitting on the edge of the wall with my legs dangling over, I unscrew the metal cap and take a long pull of whiskey. I swallow it and bite my teeth together as my throat burns, but soon, it fades and sends a much-needed warmth through my chest that aches so badly.

After a few more swigs, my vision blurs from behind the tears I hate. I’m so mad that I shouldn’t be crying, but I am, which only pisses me off more.

Everything is so out of control, and no matter what I do or say, I’m powerless. The realization that I’m going to have to go through life alone is debilitating. I don’t want to think about it, but I have no choice. Devastation sits on my shoulder as resentment brews inside. The two don’t mix, fighting ruthlessly for dominance, pushing me to my breaking point and I lose it, screaming into nothingness, wondering if anyone can hear me.

My lungs deplete, silencing me while my echoes slowly die.

The next drink scorches my sore throat, but it doesn’t stop me from continuing, and by the time the sun is long gone, I’ve emptied the bottle.

I’m drunk, and it feels so good to finally be free. Grabbing the neck of the bottle, I sling it into the water and watch as it sinks. It’s captivating as I slip into a numbing daze, but it’s cut short when everything illuminates.

Turning around, I squint against the bright headlights of a few cars. I stumble to my feet because I’m not in the mood for any company.

“Sebastian!” someone calls out, and when the last car turns off their headlights, I have to blink past the dark spots in my eyes a few times before I make out Brent.

“What’s up?” I slur before swaying too far and overcompensating when I try to regain my balance.

He laughs as the whole group starts to gather.

“I thought I told you not to invite him,” Emily snaps.

“I didn’t.”

Unable to stand with much control, I shuffle to the side before someone grabs my arm.

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