Page 73 of Am I the Only One

Emma

“Hey, I’m running out with some buddies to grab dinner,” Luca says when he peeks into my bedroom. “Want to come?”

“I’m not hungry. Thanks anyway.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” I tell him. “I think I’m going to turn in early; I’m pretty tired.”

When he leaves, I walk over to the dresser and pull out a pair of pajamas to change into. Things have been a little awkward between Luca and me ever since we returned from Tennessee. It’s a weird gray area we are stuck in. We’ve both let our feelings be known to the other, but it isn’t as if we’re dating or anything; not at all. And not much affection has been shown aside from some light necking the other night when I slept in his bed.

I don’t know.

If I were to be forced to label our relationship, it would be:It’s complicated.

To be fair, my complications run deeper than Luca’s. I hung up with Carly a little while ago, and the conversation was tense and ended with her wanting to meet me tomorrow morning.

After I’m changed, I hop into bed and grab my phone. I swipe through the pictures I took of Olivia’s calendar, but there’s nothing that puts Tripp in DC over the next few days.

As I think about what I’m going to do, I mindlessly flip through my photos until I come across the selfie I took of Luca, Matthew, and me while we were at the airport. I zoom in on my brother, whose smile is so full and genuine as he stands between Luca and me.

I miss him.

Ever since returning from Tennessee, I’ve been thinking about the possibility of moving him here to be closer. The cost would be substantial, and I’m not sure I would even be able to find him a bed at a facility that’s close to me. The idea is so new that, I haven’t even mentioned it to Luca yet. I know he will jump on it and push me to make the move happen. I wouldn’t put it past him to try to fund it, and I want to make sure I have the money to do this on my own.

The ringing of my phone pulls me from my thoughts. When I see Olivia’s name appear on the screen, I roll my eyes, sit up, and take the call.

“Hey, Olivia.”

“Hi! Do you have time to talk for a second?”

“Sure. What’s up?”

“Nothing really. Just mulling around my apartment,” she says. “I wanted to call to make sure that everything’s okay with us.”

“Yeah, everything is fine. Why?”

“I don’t know. I’ve been feeling a little weird about last week,” she admits before adding, “You know ... my hooking up with Luca. I just want to make sure that you and I are cool.”

“Oh, totally. What you choose to do is none of my business, so don’t feel weird at all. Sorry if I was a bitch. I hadn’t had a hangover like that in a while,” I say. “So, what’s going on between the two of you?”

“Nothing. I haven’t heard from him since, but that’s Luca for you. One and done, you know?”

I do. I think it’s that very notion that has us both stalling. We have feelings for each other, but we’re both so unsure about moving forward that we can’t take that first step.

“Are you okay?” I ask, not that I actually care.

“Yeah. I knew exactly what I was getting into when I made that choice. No big deal. And it isn’t as if I’m waiting around for him.” She pauses for a beat. “It was a one and done for me too.”

I don’t know if this is a fact or her trying to convince herself of it.

“Oh, can you hold on? I have another call.”

Before I can respond, she’s already clicked over, leaving me alone with tendrils of jealousy I’m trying desperately to squash. I don’t want to think about him fucking Olivia—or any girl, for that matter.

After a minute, Olivia comes back on the line. “Are you there?”

“Yeah.”

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