Page 101 of Am I the Only One

With a heavy exhale, I tell her what I can, “Look, you need to know something. Emma’s missing,” I lie, not wanting anyone to know where she is or that she’s dead. “I’m telling you this because I’m about to call the police, and they’ll most likely want to talk to you. Whatever you do, do not mention anything about the security videos you just sent me, understand?”

She’s quiet, but it spans for longer than what I’m comfortable with.

“Olivia?”

Her voice cracks, and I can tell that she’s crying when she asks, “Luca, what’s going on? Are the Montgomery’s involved?”

“Whatever you do, don’t ever mention this video,” I repeat and then quickly hang up. I open my email, and sure enough, I have the secured link waiting in my inbox.

When I click on it, it takes me to a home screen that gives me six different camera options. There are two options that would’ve caught what happened: Backyard and Dock. I click on Dock and it brings up the last twenty-four hours of footage, so I drag the toggle on the video player to fast forward. It takes a few minutes until I catch something. Hitting play, I watch, and there she is, Emma, standing on the dock alone. The video is pixilated, but it’s clear enough for me to tell that it’s definitely Emma.

Leaning in closer to the screen, I watch, and soon Carly walks into the frame. There’s no sound in the video, but it’s clear they’re arguing. I then see Emma fall into the water. I rewind a few seconds to watch again, but it isn’t until the third time that I realize she slipped on something, most likely ice.

I stare in horror as Carly stands over her and does nothing. Not a fucking thing. And then she reaches down and grabs the rope to the crab trap and picks it up. She brings it over her head and then slams it down.

My stomach caves in on itself, and I drop the phone. Tears fill my eyes, blurring the world around me, and I couldn’t possibly feel any emptier than I do right now. Words can’t even begin to describe my feelings for that girl. Fuck if I didn’t love her from the moment I met her, but I was always too damn scared to say anything because I knew I wasn’t good enough.

She was so perfect, and I was nothing but careless, screwing random girls who never meant shit to me. I was worthless next to her, but that didn’t stop me from loving her the best I knew how—as a friend. Although she was always so quiet and closed off, she was vibrant and full of life in her own reserved way. Others could never see it, but I could. All I could ever see was her.

But then her parents died and she lost herself. She completely shut down, and I felt helpless. That was when she started pushing me away. It wasn’t until she moved in here with me that I heard her cry for the first time. She would wait until late at night when she thought I was asleep, but I wasn’t asleep. Shit, sometimes I’d force myself to stay awake just to listen to her because I hated the thought of her suffering all alone. It was my pathetic way of being there for her.

Hell, even my parents loved her. My mother would talk about her often. She always hoped that I would pull my head out of my ass and ask her out. I just can’t believe it took me so long.

Two nights ago, she finally opened her heart and let me in.

Two nights ago ... and now she’s dead.

Finally, being able to have her changed everything about me. If I could go back, I would tell her exactly how, but I was nervous. I feigned it well, but shit, making love to her was scary because I had never in my life allowed myself to be that vulnerable with anyone. But I should’ve said more because she deserved to know how special she was, how much I truly did love her and that I had loved her for years. I’ll always love her.

All I ever wanted was her—every piece—including her fragments, her bad days, her broken hopes and soul aches. The pieces so small that they lost their place when she would put herself back together after every heartbreak she ever suffered.. I wanted it all, and two days ago I was on my way to having it all and now ...

Dropping my head in my palms, I cry for the girl who never deserved any of this. All I ever wanted to give her was everything that had been taken from her.

God damn, I love her.

My phone rings next to me, and when I wipe my eyes, I see it’s Matthew calling. I stare at his name, but I can’t move. I can’t answer because, what the hell am I going to say? The ringing eventually stops, and it’s in the hollow silence of this moment where I vow to take care of him.

He was Emma’s world, and even though she was too prideful to ask for help, I’m not. I’ll talk to my parents, and we’ll figure it all out, but I just can’t deal with that right now. I can’t deal with anything when I feel like dying myself.

I swear to God that I will make Carly pay for what she’s done. I will fuck her life up in the most unimaginable ways, and I’ll make sure I do it slowly so that she suffers.

There’s no way I’m going to let that piece of shit get away with this.

Fuck no!

I call Olivia back.

“Luca, I’m freaking out over here,” is the first thing she says when she answers my call.

“I need one more thing.”

“Tell me what’s going on,” she demands.

“I need you to listen to me.”

“Have you been crying?” she asks, but I avoid her question.

“I hate to involve you in this, but I am going to email a file to William’s campaign headquarters’ account, and I need to make sure that you are logged in so you are the one who retrieves it, okay?”

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