Page 22 of Out in the Country

Are we doing this? Because I have zero desire to do this right now.

“Ev, I never allowed myself to consider this as a possibility. I never dreamed to hope this could be real.” A shaky breath grazes my skin, and my eyes snap shut. “Youarethe dream, Everett. My dream.”

I don’t respond.

I can’t.

Instead I let him turn me until we’re face-to-face, water dripping down into my eyes.

“Ev, look at me.” I don’t want to, but there’s nothing on God’s green earth that could make me deny him. His eyes hold so much emotion and love I can hardly breathe. Swiping my hair off my forehead, Hayden cradles my face in his hands. Soft lips meet mine in the sweetest kiss.

It’s the type of kiss that says he’s sorry and that I’m loved.

Cherished.

He holds me there for a long moment and then tilts my face so he can slant his mouth over mine. He tastes like heaven, and my hands move to the small of his back. I don’t try to pull him into me or command him in any way—that’s what got me into this mess in the first place.

“You areeverythingto me.”

The words should be everything I need, but I feel too raw. Too exposed. I blindsided him, and his initial rejection and uncertainty coupled with his recent disregard of my intentions devastate me in a way I never imagined.

“You don’t have to—” I force the words out. “You don’t have to do this. I’m sorry.”

This time when I blink, tears mix with the spray of the shower.

“Everett, look at me.”

I don’t want to but I’d do anything for him, regardless of what it means for me.

Warm, stormy eyes look back at me with the same emotion I saw when he climbed in here with me.

“Ev, I don’t need time to love you. I’m already head-over-fucking-heels in love with you, and that scares the shit out of me.”

A surprised laugh bursts from my chest and releases some of the heartache that had settled there.

“I don’t want you to say it because it’s what you think I want to hear.”

“Everett Scott Teal, have Ievertold youanythingjust because I thought that’s what you wanted me to say?”

This time, my grin is genuine and I dip my chin a little.

“Maybe.”

Reaching down, he pinches my side. I yelp and squirm from his grasp, but he uses my lack of balance to haul me flush against his hard body. Hayden’s lips crash over mine with one hand braced against my back and the other fisted in my hair.

He’s demanding, and the battle for control makes my blood run hot. Hayden had been so sure I didn’t know what I wanted, but this—this is what I never knew was possible. He’s wild and passionate andmine.

For as long as he’ll have me.

“I’m sorry,” he says against my lips. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

“I just want to be what you need.”

Pulling away, Hayden stares at me. “What about what you need?” I open my mouth to speak but he shakes his head. “I can be such a selfish lover and I steal the covers and I hate cleaning those reusable straws and I’m like a cat and sometimes I want to snuggle but other times I need my space and I almost never get up the first time my alarm goes off and—”

I kiss him—hard—and pull back with a smile because there’s no hesitation. “I finally feel like myself, Hayden. I feel like the most genuine version of myself, and I’ve been cleaning those damn straws since you insisted we buy them.” I walk him back to the shower wall, and he lets out a contented sigh. “I’ve gotten you up plenty when you’ve almost been late for work, you steal the covers no matter who’s in bed with you, and even if you need your space at night, I know you’ll come back to me in the morning.”

“But…”

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