Page 26 of Tell Me the Truth

I step out of the car, hand her the keys, and walk her up to the front door.

“Thank you for meeting up with me tonight and giving me a chance to talk with you. I hope you’ll call me if there’s anything else you want to know from me. I’m here for you.” I say, trying not to sound like I am pleading or expecting too much from her.

She looks at me but doesn’t say anything. Her look makes me think,I don’t deserve her forgiveness. I know that much.

Then she turns around to open her front door, walks inside, and closes the door behind her. A second later, I hear the bolt latch and the porch light turns off.

Having the door closed on me and standing in the dark feels harsh.I look all around and notice there are no streetlamps in this neighborhood.I deserved that,I think to myself. I reach into my pocket, pull out my cell phone, and open my rideshare app.

While I schedule a ride back to my car at the dive bar, I wonder what else I can do to make inroads with Alexandra.What more does she want from me? I’m ready to answer all her questions. But I can’t do anything if she won’t talk to me.

My phone buzzes and I see that my ride is scheduled.“Peter” is coming in 25 minutes.

I step down from Alexandra’s porch and take a seat on the second step.

The only thing I can do from here is fix things on my end and secure the safety of Alexandra’s company frommine. So, first thing in the morning I’ll check in to see whetherthe board made any movement towards creating a new plan for Brent-Sigma’s company direction.I know that I actively need to be elbows deep into crafting our strategy and goals for how to move Brent-Sigma into the 21st century and rebuild it into the innovator that it once was. Thinking about the possibilities, I feel a new sense of inspiration and determination.

I look down at my phone. According to the app, Peter, my rideshare is 2 minutes away. I stand up, brush off my pants, and start walking to the curb.

When I get to about a few yards from the street, I hear the bolt from Alexandra’s front door slide open and I stop to turn around to see Alexandra standing in her doorway.

“Is everything all right?” I call back to her.

The lights in her home form an aura around her body as they light up from behind her. The darkness of everything outside her home keeps her face in shadows. I can’t decide whether I should stay put or walk back towards her.

After a couple of seconds, and not receiving an answer from her, I start to walk back towards her house. Immediately she holds up her hand and says, “Stop, Ellis.” I halt in my tracks, waiting for her to speak again.

She doesn’t say anything, and I turn my head when I see a flash of headlights turn the corner onto her street.

“If there’s anything you need, let me know. I don’t expect anything, but if you want to talk some more, I will stay or… I don’t know. It’s your call. Just let me know what you want from me Alexandra and I’ll do it.”

The dark sedan with a rideshare light on the dashboard stops on the street in front of Alexandra’s house.

“Just let me know what you need.” I point back to the car to show that I am taking the ride. “I have to go. Goodbye.”

I head towards my rideshare and greet the driver through the open window of the front passenger door.

What am I doing?If I get into the car now and drive away, I would officially be the world’s biggest idiot. “Peter, I’ll pay and give you a great tip. But, I won’t need a ride right now.” He looks around me towards the house, seeming to understand my meaning, nods, and thanks me, then closes his window and drives away.

I turn around to see that Alexandra is still standing in her doorway. I walk towards her and stand in front of her on the front porch. This time she doesn’t stop me.

“I don’t need you.” Her first words spoken to me since opening her door and watching me send my rideshare away. “You being in my life, doesn’t change who I am.”

“No, of course not. You…”

“I’m not finished.” She cuts me short. Still not moving from her position in the frame of her door.

“You have really hurt me. I don’t see us the same way now, in the hopeful way I saw us when we were on our movie date.” Since I am standing just a couple of feet from her, I can see her face. Her expression tells me she is thinking about her words and calculating the best way to communicate them. I wait in silence for her direction.

“I don’t need you. But---,” she pauses a moment, breathes in and exhales then steps down to me from her doorway. “In this moment, I want you. I want you to come with me inside and let me have you. With no expectations, no promises. No talk about what we will do next. Just …” She heaves in another deep breath in, then out. “The only choice I give you in this moment is, you can call another rideshare and leave, or you can stay but you will leave before morning.”

I step forward to move into her space and say, “I will stay now. I want to stay. And will leave when you tell me.” I offer my mouth to her, and she accepts by parting her lips and allowing me to press in for a deep, hungry kiss. My left hand moves to the small of her back, bringing her body in, next to mine. My other hand grabs her by the hair next to the nape of her neck, pulling her mouth closer to mine. Letting me kiss her hard and with purpose.

I try to be both gentle and forceful. Lifting her up from the ground and walking us forward into her home. Our lips remain locked as if we both are being carried by their connection. It feels like nothing can fit between us. I am the one physically moving her body with mine into thehouse, but it is as if it were her lips carrying me, holding me to her.

A question crosses my mind and I pull away from her. My lips feel the ache to keep kissing hers and the longing in my body feels like a tidal wave, ready to crash onto the shore. I have tasted her, and I want it all. Before we go further, I must look into her eyes and find out, “Are you sure?” I ask.

She looks at me, lips red from the pressure against mine. Her eyes glaring, suggesting that stopping wasn’t easy for her either. I hope that it was difficult. I like thinking that she can’t wait to be with me again, to breathe me in. Because I feel the same exact way.

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