Page 24 of Tell Me the Truth

“Whoa, nice.” Ellis remarks as he walks up to stand next to me at the bar. “One hell of a night, huh?”

“Exactly,” I reply, staring straight ahead. “My night has been hell,” I say icily. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing his presence is having an effect on me. His enticing trademark of musk and sandalwood announces his entrance, even before I answer his question. If I turn my head to look into his eyes, I know my face will betray me.

“Showing up at my company like that…your board members must have been really annoyed.” I leave my card with the bartender when he brings my drink and take my glass of whiskey and glass of ice to the table.

“Trailhead draft please.” He tells the bartender when asked for his order.

Ellis turns around to address me at the table, “Yes, well, they’re not going to find out because I was never there.”

As he finishes his transaction with the bartender, I process his meaning. I wonder if there is anything he can tell me that won’t garner doubt and suspicion in anything he says to me.

When he sits down at the table, in the chair across from me, I hold his gaze for a while. Gauging how I might interpret his demeanor.

I take in the sight of him. He is dressed in khaki pants and a baby blue polo shirt. His eyes still look the same as they did before, except their emerald pools seem darkened. They stare back at me with concern, sincerity, care, and hope.

Pathetic, I think about myself as I feel a softening towards him. He’s all wrapped up in a handsome package that I have to fight myself to not be lured into bed with.

Finally, I let out, “Was any of it real?” As soon as I ask this question, I want to kick myself. I know it isn’twhatI had wanted to start with. The whole drive over, I was creating a mental list of questions that I had broken into two lists: those based on emotion (that I was convinced would be a waste of time) and those that were going straight for the facts.

Instead, the question at the top of that Emotional list, was the one that came flying out of my mouth. Without reason or control.

“All of it was real,” he responds immediately. “I swear to you Alexandra when I confess that I fell for you the moment I saw you, it is 100% the truth. The reason why I couldn’t tell you who I was, was because I knew you wouldn’t have given me a chance if you knew the truth right away.”

I lift my hand to stop him. “That’s not the question I wanted to ask.” I insist. “I don’t even know you. So whatever answer you give, I won’t believe you.” I feel a wave of accomplishment seeing a pained look flash across his face and observing that it looks like I hurt him.

He adjusts the apologetic tone from his voice and says, “I understand where you’re coming from. I want to help you with anything you need to know to help us get past …” I can tell that he is going to say ‘this’, but he stops himself. It looks like he remembers that the purpose of his meeting with me isn’t so he can apologize and I can forgive him. It is only for me to get to the truth.

“What do you want to know?” he asks instead.

I am watching his gestures, his eyes, and facial expressions so that I can gather the whole picture of what is behind the words he’s telling me. He is offering me access to his life on a platter.How are you so sure he’s not just going to lie again?I can’t be sure, but I owe it to myself to see what I can find out.

“You already told me on our first date about growing up in El Dorado Hills and you went to college in Santa Clara. Were you in the military?” I ask.

“After I got my degree I went through the Marine’s Officers program. My current rank is Captain, 1st Marine Division.” He replies, without flinching. His eyes hold fast on mine.

“So you have killed people?” Impressed with myself that I am maintaining a cool and steady composure, I then notice a look on his face that tells me I have struck a nerve with that question. He looks over at me and it seems like he is starting to erect walls around that topic. He parts his lips to speak but lets out just a breath before closing his mouth.

So he has a hard time talking about the Marines. Does it really matter to my situation at hand?I decide that the answer doesn’t concern me at this time, and I am all right with moving on.

“Never mind. When did you get back?” My next question causes a look of relief to wash over him. He is happy to change the subject.

“Just over a month ago. You may have heard about the car crash that killed both my parents in June?” This memory should still reside close to his heart since it happened just 4 months ago. If he can share this difficult information, I might be able to reach those vulnerable pieces within him.

“I did,” I let him know softly. “I’m sorry. Although different circumstances, I also know the heartbreak of losing a parent.”

“It’s all right, thank you.” He answers back. “I’m an only child.”

We both take sips from our drinks. I watch as sadness creeps over his face. The fact that I am also an only child pops into my mind, but I snap an imaginary clip over my lips. This talk isn’t about me or helping him to feel better.

When it feels like an appropriate amount of time to let him process his last statement, I continue with my questioning.

“So, you just took over the running of your family company about a month ago. Right?” He nods his head in confirmation.This is why I didn’t know you. I’ve been so entrenched in research and development for the last five months.

“I must seem like an idiot to you, not knowing who you were. After all, I’m the CTO and Founder of my company. I should know the big news surrounding all our competitors. At least know about the people running those companies. Especially the company threatening to buy us out.”

He interrupts me. “No Alexandra. I could never think you’re an idiot. Look, at the coffee shop when I asked you what you did, you didn’t say your actual title. You told me that you were a scientist. I saw the look of satisfaction, no, pride on your face when you owned that part of you. It was obvious that the science is where your heart and your focus is. I thought that might have something to do with why you didn’t recognize me. But I could only let myself feel excited that I had a chance to get to know you.”

He looks up and sees that I am shutting down again. I am not there to hear about how he has feelings for me.

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