Page 22 of Tell Me the Truth

Finally, she speaks. “Do you see these?” She raises the charred petri dishes high between us so that I can see the melted plastic mixed with black soot.

“Tracey had these in her hands when I found her tonight. She was in shock and had this look of despair on her face. I know exactly what she was feeling. Shock. Because she made it out alive. And, by the way, she had the wherewithal to pull the fire alarm so that others could get out of the building safely as well. But, mostly. Despair. We are feeling Despair.” I am floored with feelings of sadness and helplessness when I see the corners of her mouth turn unnaturally downward and tears pooling in her eyes.

“Let me ask you something, Ellis.” She brings the charred remains down and then continues. “Did you for once think about how many more people could be saved if you had only just let this go? These petri dishes represent the absolute, crushing Despair that I feel knowing that all the work I’ve been doing for the better half of this year, and for my whole life, was destroyed. Burned to a melted, wasted crisp in a matter of minutes.”

Alexandra takes a step away from me. “I could probably have forgiven you for lying to me about who you are. But to be so thoughtless and have no care for all these people’s lives.” Alexandra waves the plastic, dark, lumpy mess up towards me.

She looks at me with cheerless and miserable eyes that I will never forget, and says, “This, I will never forgive you for.”

***

Those words. They are thousands of splinters pushing deep into my heart. Her anger. Her disappointment in the person she thinks I am. She has every right to question me. To question my intentions.

She stands for a while, staring towards her damaged office building. Finally, she speaks weakly. “You aren’t from Brent-Sigma, you are Brent-Sigma.”

It occurs to me that this could be my opportunity to help her understand why I couldn’t tell her my identity right away. “Yes. You’re right. But, I hope that all of this shows why I couldn’t figure out the best way to tell you who___”

“Why are you even here, Ellis?” She turns to me, interrupting my explanation. “To gloat? To take one last glance at what you accomplished?” She turns her hand, palm up, and waves it toward the smoking building. “Well, there you go. Everything you’ve wanted, wrapped up in a smoldering, fucking bow!”

“That’s not … it wasn’t … how can you even think that?” I ask, even though she has every reason to think that. “Look, I mean I do know you have good reasons. But, I couldn’t figure out how to tell you that I’m Ellis Brent.” I try to grab her hands in mine, but she pulls them quickly away and crosses her arms in front.

I try to continue. “Look, if I had told you my name at the coffee shop, you would have asked me if I was connected to Brent-Sigma. When I told you, don’t you agree that you would have had nothing to do with me? You wouldn’t have given me a chance.”

Instead of an answer, she stands silently. Face straight, with no reaction.

I can understand why she might feel as if I don’t deserve an answer. However, she is letting me talk. So, I continue.

“That day, I knew exactly who you were, right when I walked into the coffee shop. I could only see the side of your face when you were in line, but we were talking about Seth BioTech at my office, and I was researching you right before we met.” Finally, I’m telling the truth. Although now that I am telling it, she has every reason to be even angrier with me.

“So, I did recognize you.” I am hoping that my words are matched with the sincere look that I am attempting to portray. “I was immediately struck. Mesmerized. In my head, I was thinking, ‘Turn around Ellis. Don’t do it. Walk away. What the hell are you thinking?’ But, I just wanted to talk to you.”

“There were moments at the coffee shop when I thought that you must have known who I was. Like when you made that joke about me meeting women at the coffee shop. I thought you might have known about my playboy reputation.” Ugh, I’m all over the place. I want to be able to tell her everything so that she can see I’m trying to be open. But I also don’t want to make more of a mess of things by adding negative ideas about me in her mind.

“And I admit. At first, I did have thoughts run through my mind that I could gather company intel if I talked to you. That maybe you’d end up being a sour bitch and we’d have good reason to buy into your company.” I see hints of anger rise on her face, so I rush to make my point before she can speak out. “But you are who you are, and you’re not a sour bitch. You don’t deserve what my company wanted to do to yours. And you don’t deserve this.” I point towards the burnt building.

“Alexandra, I fell for you the moment I met you. And I just wanted to keep learning more. Getting to know you.” I am hoping that my words are making some small dent in her being able to believe me. “All the time we spent together; it was real for me. But, I couldn’t figure out a way to tell you who I was without you wanting to have nothing to do with me. And, I was selfish. Because all I wanted was more time.”

“Please believe me when I say that I had nothing to do with the fire. I didn’t know about it, nor did I have an idea that anyone had plans to do something like this. Please tell me you don’t think I did this.” I plead with her, hoping she has heard what I’m saying and that she believes me.

She looks up at me. Those grey eyes, catching the light from the moon, possibly revealing her search for truth or sincerity anywhere within my eyes. I am hoping what I see is that she believes me. But, it is probably just hope.

“I don’t know what to think,” she finally replies, as she tosses the charred petri dishes in her hand to the ground. As if to show me, or remind me, that they now mean nothing. “If you care for me the way you say, then hear this.” She pauses briefly to emphasize the next dagger to my heart.

“Leave.”

Chapter Eight

Alexandra

Wednesday

There is nothing else I can do at this moment. On this night. Nothing that staring at the charred exterior of Seth BioTech can accomplish. Knowing that it is not just charred, but the lab and all the work done inside are destroyed.

Ellis Brent. My instinct tells me I need to figure out how to prove he had something to do with the fire. It has to be him. But the more I replay our conversations and the Ellis that I got to know, the more I can convince myself that he is not the enemy.

I also want to believe it wasn’t him.Of course you want to believe he had nothing to do with the fire. You weak, fucking sap. I am being tough on myself. But I deserve it. I let this man into my heart. Into my fucking house. My bed. Thoughts of being tangled with him. The sound of my name on his lips. “Alexandra.”

Snap out of it, princess. I have to tell myself. Angry, because just the thought of Ellis breathing my name is sending shocks through my body.

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