Page 2 of Tell Me the Truth

When I see that Ellis has texted me, my heart leaps into the highest of elevations. But, as I read up, in reverse time order, through the string of Ellis’ text messages, my heart quickly goes from glee to the depths of anger, embarrassment, confusion, and betrayal.

“Just in case you need to reach me. E”

“Please call me. Let me explain.”

“Alexandra please.”

“Just checking in to see how you’re doing. Please call me.”

“Called. Left a VM. Please call me back.”

“Let me explain. I need to see you.”

“I’m sorry. Don’t believe everything you hear until we talk. Please.”

As I am sitting on the lab barstool, confused and not knowing what to do next, I hear the nearby elevator ding and the doors slide open.

“Alexandra?” I hear my assistant’s voice behind me. It sounds softer than usual, almost like she is in some sort of trouble. I turn around, eager to brush away whatever mistake she thinks she might have made so that I can figure out the meaning behind Ellis’ text messages.

Seeing my assistant, Tracey, instantly transports me away from Ellis’ texts, to what is important: My research.

“What’s wrong? Whatever it is, don’t worry about it!” I tell her. Happy to forget about the confusion I was feeling just seconds before. “We’ve waited months for this.” Pointing at the results on my tablet. “And waited even longer to maintain the correct ST levels. Great job Tracey!”

Tracey seems to be searching my eyes, which is strange since I think it’s obvious that I am pleased with the results of our research. I am ready to offer her a pep talk of some sort, but then I see her expression change to realization. She suddenly grasps that we’re not talking about the same thing.

I don’t know what she knows.

“I assume you haven’t seen…you must not know yet…” She starts to speak, with the same hushed, tentative voice. She swipes up on her phone and thumbs to the screen she wants to show me. She walks to me with her phone in hand and says, “I think you need to see this.”

“What is it?” I question her, as I accept her phone and focus my eyes on the screen.

The picture on Tracey’s phone screen is of a man in a leather jacket and a baseball cap with a woman by his side. She is wearing jeans, a cropped jacket, and a baseball cap. I would have dismissed the picture, but then a flash of recognition sticks in my mind, and I look closer, recognizing both outfits. It is Ellis’ jacket and the same white, cropped one that I wore last night. I scroll down through the article and find another picture.

Apparently, Ellis and I were followed. Anger rises within me, knowing that I was photographed, despite my efforts to stay incognito.

But these pictures don’t seem like enough to ruin my day. Until my mind recalls the flood of emotions that had surged moments before Tracey arrived. Puzzle pieces start forming connections.

“Scroll up to the top,” Tracey instructs.

I scroll up to the article headline and read it in disbelief:

Brent-Sigma Pharmaceuticals Boss and Seth BioTech Founder Seen Out Together On a Date. Are the Rumors True?

My heart threatens to stop in my chest. I feel heat crawl in waves up my arms, to the back of my neck, up through the skin of my scalp to the top of my head.

This can’t be, I think to myself.Why would he lie?I don’t know whether I am feeling angry or sad, or both. Even worse, I don’t know who I’m angry at. Myself, I decide. I had let this complete stranger in, and I gave him parts of me that no one gets. It is my fault that he lied to me. My fault that I was starting to have feelings for him. I’m the one who is stupid enough to get swept away in a fun game of excitement, desire, butterflies, hope, and distraction -- now duplicity, deceit, and lies.

I get up from my seat in the lab, knees shaky but somehow holding me standing. “Tracey, I just need a moment. Transfer my calls, no one sees me. No one else in the lab. I just need a moment.” As these last words trail off, Tracey’s eyes reveal she understands my meaning. She nods and motions me toward my office.

Is Ellis even his fucking name?!I close my office door and take a seat at my desk. Brent-Sigma is the pharmaceutical giant that is trying to buy its way into my company.And he’s the CEO?!

I try to make sense of what makes no sense to me.What was he trying to get from all of it? Was he trying to get me to sell my company?

Shame washes all over me. I was such an easy target. So easy to get into bed. This feeling paves the way for rage, as I realize then that I am both crying and holding my hands in fists. I bang both fists on my desk and let out a guttural, “FUCK!”

Pull yourself together and stop being such a fucking crybaby, Alexandra.Self-fucking hard love. But yes. I know I must gather my senses and quit feeling sorry for myself.I got myself into this shit, I can’t waste any more time not getting out of it.

Opening my fists and laying my hands flat on my desk, I close my eyes and take ten slow, deep, measured breaths. Holding in momentarily at the top, before fully exhaling with a low hum.

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