Page 13 of Clear Blue Sky

The problem with Nelson playing this tape repeatedly in his head was that he had no idea what version of the truth Seth had uncovered before he died, because Roxy’s was total bullshit.

“What are you suggesting?” she asked.

“I honestly don’t know. We’ve always said this was a fling. No strings. No exclusivity, and to be fair, I still don’t see myself as a man who could be in a permanent relationship. I wasn’t even sure I would bring any of this up tonight because of how confused I am.”

“Why did you?”

That was a valid question and a million answers floated through his mind. He did want to get to know her better. He certainly had feelings for her. Both of those things were true. If he were a different man, he’d jump into the deep end, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. This wouldn’t last forever. He couldn’t give her everything she deserved, but it could be something great in the moment.

He also needed to know what the hell Marcus was writing about, and he wasn’t going to ask the devil. He blew out a puff of air. He wasn’t sure if she’d seen him conversing with Marcus or not. Or if Marcus had informed her that they knew each other. She hadn’t mentioned it, so he wanted to assume she was in the dark.

However, assumptions were dangerous.

“I picked up my cell at least a dozen times to cancel,” he admitted.

“Why?”

“Two reasons.” He raked a hand across the top of his head. “The first one was based in fear because things feel different, and I wasn’t sure if that was me or you. I don’t do relationships and to be fair, I’m not sure you and I are a good idea because I don’t know what you want.” He held up his hand. “But the bigger reason is I heard from someone in my past. It stirred up a lot of things. Stronger than over the holidays when I had that bad dream. But each time I held my phone in my hands, I couldn’t bring myself to tell you not to come. My therapist was always telling me I needed to talk with someone other than my brothers about what happened. I guess that’s what I’m doing.” He smiled weakly. “I’m sorry for using you in a different way.”

She poked his arm. “How can you be using me when we were just discussing dating?”

“Is that what we were doing?” He took her chin with his thumb and forefinger. “I do really like you. I don’t want to hurt you and I fear I’ll do that in the end.”

Her plump lips parted. “Because you don’t want the happily ever after?”

He chuckled. “I’ve never lasted more than a year with anyone since I was in my twenties. It’s not fair of me to ask you to give me a chance when I’m telling you that I’ve never considered marriage or family.”

“Those two things haven’t been on my radar most of my adult life, but it is something I’d like in the future.” She cocked her head. “Are you saying it’s completely out of the question?”

A couple of years ago, he would have told her under no circumstance would he even entertain the thought. Now, he wasn’t so sure. “I honestly don’t know.” He pressed his finger over her lips. “It’s not fair to ask you to stay involved with me if that’s what you really want.”

“I came here tonight to talk to you about making this more official.” She smiled. “Right now, all I want is to get to know you better and for this to be exclusive. I don’t know what the future holds. No one does, but for right now, this is what I want.”

“Are we going to have a long-distance romance?” He kissed her sweet mouth. The second their tongues twisted and rolled around each other, all his reservations about being with her melted away like a piece of ice in the hot sun on a summer day.

She patted his chest. “I have a confession to make.”

“What’s that?”

“I want to take advantage of you and finish this conversation over waffles.”

He laced his fingers through hers and tugged her across the patio and toward the first-floor master. “I prefer pancakes.” As soon as he closed the sliding glass door, he pressed her against the wall, shoving his knee between her legs. He fumbled like a horny teenager with little to no experience with the buttons on her blouse. It took forever to remove her clothing. When they were both finally naked, they tumbled to the bed.

She wrapped her arms and legs around his body. Her skin sizzled under his touch. All her muscles twitched with every kiss. All he wanted to do was feel her quiver with delight. To hear his name roll off her lips while her orgasm tore through her body.

Licking her way down the center of his chest, across his stomach, she took him into her mouth.

He groaned, fisting her hair, doing his best to maintain control, something that had proved impossible with her in the past. Everything about her drove him wild. No other woman he’d ever been with had ever given him the kind of pleasure that she had.

“Hey,” he managed. “Up here.”

She lifted her gaze, licked her lips, and smiled.

“You’re going to be the death of me.” He flipped her onto her back and sucked one of her nipples into his mouth. His hands roamed her body, finding every erogenous zone. Bringing her close to the edge, but not over became an art form.

Her back arched and she begged for him to take her, but he continued to tease and torture. He kissed and licked and tasted until he couldn’t stand it.

He entered her slowly, pushing into her inch by glorious inch. Gritting his teeth, he kept things slow and tender. In the past, sex with Brandi had always been wild and out of control. There had never been a lack of passion between them and that hadn’t changed. However, holding her in his arms tonight, this felt more like an attachment.

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