Page 128 of Malachi

She paused her assignment, calling in a favor from another traveling nurse, so she could come to my aid. She showed me each and every day how much of my soulmate she really was. I couldn’t wait until the day she needed me, so I could run to her with open arms and kiss her forehead until my lips blistered.

She was my person. And Malachi was my person. And Aussie was my person. I missed them both dearly, but life had gotten in our way and I wasn’t sure if we’d ever be a family again. The idea of co-parenting hurt my heart in a hundred different ways but I understood it was my truth, and before my son was born, I needed to fully embrace it.

My vibrating phone lit up. Aussie’s picture covered the screen. I swiped as quickly as my fingers would allow me to. Once the call was connected, her pretty face appeared.

“Mommy!”

“Aussie. Hi. I miss you so much, baby. What are you doing?”

“Can I see you?”

Fighting the tears, I nodded my head. God had heard my prayers. I wanted Aussie in my hands, in my bed, our bellies full of homemade ice cream while we watched endless cartoon episodes.

“Yes. Of course. Any time.”

“Can you tell Daddy?”

She ran a short distance with her iPad, her background exposing their location. They were having dinner on the patio at Ranking. My stomach growled at the sight of the veggie burger in Aussie’s tiny hand.

“Aussie, baby, what are you doing?”

“Can you tell Daddy I can see you? Please?”

She didn’t give me a chance to answer before she handed the iPad off to Malachi. When his handsome face approached, I ended the call. I wasn’t ready. Seeing him after so long made it all come rushing back. The things he said to me. The way he’d said them with so much conviction. I didn’t think he meant most of it, but it didn’t negate the fact that he’d let them come from his mouth. He was hurting and wanted me to hurt, too. It wasn’t fair and I wanted no parts of anyone with that mentality.

A second call came through that I almost ignored, but decided against. Malachi’s face was on the screen when it finally came through.

“Aeir, don’t hang up.

“What is it, Malachi?”

“Aussie wants to spend some time with you. I told her she’d have to call and ask.”

“Yes. She can. I’d love that.”

“Cool. Send me the address to wherever you’re at and I’ll drop her off.”

“I can’t do that, Malachi.”

With furrowed brows, he dropped the fries in his hand and looked into the camera.

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not ready to. We can meet in the center of the city. It doesn’t matter where. Just tell me the time and place. I’ll be there.”

He didn’t respond immediately. He ran his hand through his hair, ending near his hairline where he began to twirl. He was under a great deal of stress. I could see it in his eyes. Or maybe it was agony. Or maybe it was grief. Or maybe it was betrayal. It could’ve been a number of things that led to his sad, aggrieved eyes that stared at me through the phone.

Worry me, I thought, refusing to let the words come from my mouth.

“I’m not any-fucking-body, Aeir. It’s me.”

“Is it?” I scoffed. “I’ve gotten so many versions of you, Malachi. I don’t have the energy to try to figure out which is the real one or the one I should be protecting myself from. So, to be safe, I’m installing barriers and setting boundaries. You can’t blame me for doing what you’ve forced me to.”

“You’re right,” he agreed with a nod, picking up a fry but letting it fall loosely before putting it in his mouth. His appetite had dwindled.

With a sarcastic chuckle, he looked off and then found his way back to the screen.

“I’m sorry, Aeir. I love you. I know I didn’t show you that during our last encounter, but I do. I feel so, so fucking empty. I’ve never been a nigga that’s afraid of nothing but I’m scared every day, thinking about never holding you in my arms again. And what’s worse is, I don’t know if it’s best to let you go or if it’s best to fight for this shit.” He choked up, swiping the tear from his eye that had slipped away. He continued looking off in the distance, unable to face the camera.

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