Page 139 of No Rules

“I asked you to leave. I want you to leave.”

“And I want to be rich and famous, but we can’t always have what we want,” I retort, rolling my eyes.

He jumps up, walks quickly towards me, and stops just before bumping into me. “It’s not a joke, I don’t want to play, so stop provoking me.”

I don’t know why, but even with him acting like a jerk, I can’t seem to leave. “I know that—”

“You don’t know anything,” he cuts me off coldly.

Exasperation begins to overwhelm me. I cross my arms on my chest and straighten my chin before saying, “I know that, behind your tough look, you are worried about your cousin. You’re angry, you don’t understand how the situation could have gone so wrong when everything was planned.”

For a second, he looks shocked. “Spare me your bullshit psychology techniques, I don’t care.”

I need to push him over the edge. Maybe to get him to release the tension inside him. Or maybe I need to release mine. “Denying everything is typical for a man who doesn’t know—”

My teeth clatter as his hands come to rest on my shoulders and he shakes me roughly. “Instead of trying to deal with my problems, deal with your own,” he exclaims. “Are you trying to analyze my behavior? Let’s see what I see when I look at you: an irritating chick who lost her fucking parents and—”

“Let go of me,” I reply, but he doesn’t.

Instead, he squeezes me a little more, his breath hitting my face directly.

“Do you want me to continue?” he threatens, ignoring me. “Then let me ask you a question. Why did you say you were a monster the other day? What did you do to think you are a monster? Oh…and now who seems angry?”

I hate it when he reads me. I hate it. I keep my mouth shut as I try in vain to pull away because, at this moment, I want to hit him as much as I want to hug him. I know there is more to his anger than that.

He laughs coldly as he leans towards me before saying, “Why should you have ended up behind bars? Is this related to their murder?”

A slapping sound resounds in the room when my right hand comes down against his cheek. I take advantage of his surprise to get out of the way, stepping back quickly. My fingers burn. He passes a hand over his cheek, his mouth half-opened. The surprise mixes with fury in him.

“I told you to let go of me! Unless you want to be like TJ’s father and start beating me up? And don’t talk about my parents and their murder when you don’t know anything! I’m not talking about your crazy mother or your sister! How can you think for a moment that I will ever answer your questions when you’re being an asshole?”

My words are harsh, I know that. But it seems to make him come out of his lethargy. He stares at me for a second, confused, then lets his head fall backwards while closing his eyes. He swears several times through his teeth.

My bottom lip trembles, and it pisses me off. I hate looking weak, I’ve fought too hard for people to think I’m strong and that nothing can get to me. But he destroys all my barriers with a snap of his fingers.

I run my hand through my hair. “Forget it,” I sigh roughly. “I’ll see you later.”

“I’m sorry.”

I freeze at his words. A part of me orders me to leave while the other urges me to stop and turn to him to hear what he has to say.

“I acted like a big jerk.”

I don’t say anything back but I agree.

“I was angry, furious, and I took it all out on you. I…shit, I don’t know what to do!” he mumbles, running a hand over his jaw. “Tonight should have ended differently. I’m responsible, too. I should have known that Sam was too keyed up, that he would lose it.”

He walks towards me, unsure. “You hit me. Again.”

“And you shook me like a shaker, I think we’re even.”

His nose brushes mine. “You’re still here, telling me to fuck off in front of everyone, challenging me. Why are you doing this?”

His face leans toward mine, but he doesn’t touch me.

“Someone has to stop you when you go crazy.”

His gaze softens as he looks into mine and leans closer to get to my height. He nods silently, deep in thought, as if he’s just realized something important. “You’re not afraid of me. I get angry, and yet you stand there. I insult your parents, and instead of running away, you insult my mother. You take my anger and turn it into desire. What the hell is going on?”

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