Page 104 of No Rules

He straightens a little, keeping his fingers on me. His pale eyebrows furrow and he purses his lips. “No, nothing,” he whispers.

“I think my parents are home,” I whisper against him.

I quickly forget them when he kisses me again. His hands lift my T-shirt. I close my eyes as he pulls the fabric over my head. Keeping my eyes closed, I let him kiss the tender skin of my neck. But something suddenly catches my eye.

A beard rubs against my skin.

“What is…?” I stammer, opening my eyes.

This time, it’s not a brown gaze that confronts me…but a different colored gaze. A blue eye and another stained with brown. No more piercings.

“What’s the matter, babe?” Tucker blows me with a cheeky smile.

No! Rafael!

I wake up with a jolt, short of breath, my head buried in a pillow. I raise it and discover that I am lying flat on my stomach across my bed. I am in my room, on campus, and not years behind. I let my head fall back onto the pillow and inhale the masculine scent that emanates from it.

Damn it.

I turn onto my side and lie on my back before glancing down at my naked body. No doubt about it, I did sleep with Tucker last night. I sit down on the mattress, my gaze falling on the scratched skin of my thighs, exactly where Tucker rubbed his beard. I inhale deeply, listening to every sound coming from my small apartment, but nothing reaches me. I am alone, Tucker is gone.

I run a hand over my tired face. Why did I have this dream? Can Rafael see me from up there? Is he disappointed in me?

I don’t know, but another thought keeps nagging at me. I don’t know why I’m upset about realizing that Tucker has left during the night.

It’s silly, after all, it was clear between us. Just this one night, to finally put out the fire that was burning inside us, then we’d move on.

That’s what I want, of course. I mean, I think. Does that mean he’s going to leave me alone now? That we’re going to pretend we don’t know each other, him and me, even though we’re in the same pack? We both got what we really wanted, so now we just forget about it?

Maybe he’ll move on, go for another chick he hasn’t tried yet.

Shit, I have to stop torturing my mind! After all, the whole point of having a one-night stand is to not wonder about it afterwards. I don’t know why I feel this discomfort inside me. It’s unpleasant and I don’t like it.

During the night, I felt his arms around me. He was holding me tightly to his body, without even realizing it. Or maybe I imagined this contact between us?

I straighten up and get out of bed. Not caring about my nudity, I go to my living room in search of my laptop and notice the small sheet folded in four on the couch. I grab it, knowing full well who left it there. I find some rather crude but masculine handwriting.

Quite frustrated that I didn’t get the answer

to my question about your hair ;)

I frown and then smile slightly as I understand what question Tucker is referring to. I don’t know why that little note makes me feel better inside, but it does, as if he wanted to leave something out to make sure there was no discomfort between us.

I block out all my thoughts, making sure I get back to being realistic and thoughtful. We both got what we wanted. It was…it was great, but it was temporary. I won’t let anyone break down the defenses and barriers I’ve struggled to put up.

I walk toward my bathroom, resolute. In the end, it’s better that he left while I was sleeping, it saves us a long and awkward discussion.

***

I park in the parking lot of High Peaks Bar and notice that there is a crazy crowd tonight. There must have been a college game in the afternoon. It promises to be an evening without a moment’s respite. I take a deep breath and go to the crowded entrance. I elbow my way into the room and…cheers ring in my ears. There’s definitely been a game. The customers look overexcited. A few girls are dancing near a crowded table where some of the players are apparently gathered.

Buck waves to me in the distance, looking overwhelmed. I quickly go to the locker room to put my things down then meet him behind the counter.

“Hi, doll,” he says hurriedly.

“It’s crazy tonight,” I begin, helping him serve two beers. “Game?”

He nods but seems delighted.

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