Page 39 of Forever & Always

“Come in,” I said, waving him in. “Dodgeball, Fifty Shades of Grey, The Notebook, or Walk the Line?”

The corner of Dylan’s mouth lifted. “I thought you were going to choose.”

“Well, I was, but we’ve seen Dodgeball a hundred times and the only other I thought you might be remotely interested in was the Johnny Cash movie.”

“Come on, you know I’ve watched more than my share of sappy chick flicks with you in the past. Any of them are fine, just please not The Notebook,” he said wryly.

I smiled. He was right, he had let me choose most of the movies we watched together in the past. “Okay.” I tossed him the remote. “Walk the Line?” The last thing I needed was watching a movie loaded with hot sex, so it seemed the only choice.

“Sure,” Dylan answered and cued up the movie on the television. “It seems crazy to pay out the ass to watch a movie we’ve already seen a couple of times.”

I couldn’t help but laugh as I pulled back the covers and crawled beneath them. The fire was starting to warm the room, however the cool air from the air conditioner was blowing steadily through the vents. I found it endearing that he had a big soccer contract, and he was still thinking about money. That’s part of what I loved about him. No matter what, he’d always be the same Dylan I’d always known. “It kind of does, but unless you want to watch the weather channel, or Property Brothers…? But please no ESPN.”

Dylan lifted one pillow, then another against the headboard before he joined me on the bed, leaning against them. “You’re right. Enough with ESPN.”

I snuggled in as the movie began. We’d always had a connection with music, and given our limited selections, this was the perfect choice. Dylan yawned and slid down further in the bed next to me. “I’m sleepy, too,” I said, content just to be beside him.

“Yeah, it was a full day, but it was a blast.” Dylan settled in under the covers, leaving the remote on the nightstand.

As the beginning of the movie began to play, I felt a sweet sort of contentment. The bed was soft and welcoming, the fire cast a soft, golden glow on the room, along with just enough warmth to overcome the arctic blast from the air conditioning. I chuckled softly, as I glanced up at his handsome profile, the strong jaw clean shaven from his shower. He had a straight nose and classically beautiful features that were half in shadow. He’d always been good looking, but now I found him stunning. I wanted to gaze up at him endlessly.

“What?” Dylan asked and glanced down at my face.

“I was just thinking how ridiculous it is to have the a/c on and a fire going.”

He scooted down further into the bed and turned so we were facing each other. “You’re right, but it feels so amazing, doesn’t it?”

“Yes. I love a pile of covers,” I admitted. I smiled softly and closed my eyes, sighing with pleasure as I pulled the fluffy comforter up to my chin. I opened my eyes to gaze into his deep blue ones. Something told me that he was looking at me and I was right.

“You’ve always been that way. If you’re tired, I can lower the volume a bit?”

The movie was playing, but I barely noticed. “It’s fine. I can’t promise I won’t fall asleep half-way through, though.”

Dylan reached out to push a lose tendril of hair that had fallen across my face away. “It’s okay. I might, too. It’s been a great weekend Remi. Thank you for coming with me.”

My heart sped up at his words and the touch of his hand. I wanted to tell him to keep touching me, to lean in and kiss me, but I felt frozen in place. What if he rejected me? What about Alan. Instead, I locked on to his eyes with mine.

I swallowed, feeling a sudden tightness in my throat. “It has. It’s shown me how much I’ve missed you.”

Dylan’s hand slid down from my shoulder to my forearm where he squeezed in a gentle caress. It didn’t matter that the blankets were between his flesh and mine, electricity shot through me. I inhaled deeply, as much air as my lungs could take. My body was suddenly sensitized, and my nipples hardened instantly, almost painful where they touched the material of my shirt. The throbbing in my lower body was intense and I longed to bring one leg higher to quell it.

“Me, too. So much.”

We lay there staring into each other’s faces for what seemed like hours but was only seconds, both of us struggling for words. I nodded. “I know.”

He scooted closer. “Come here,” he said, lifting his right arm so I could snuggle closer and lay my head on the muscled wall of his chest. It should have felt uncomfortable in leu of the fluffy pillow but instead, it felt like heaven. I slid an arm over his flat, muscled abs, his steady heart beating beneath my cheek. My right leg bent and resting over the top of one of his thighs was dangerous, my foot resting on the inside of his calf.

He started to rub my back beneath the covers and the warmth of our bodies melded together. “Comfortable?” His voice was as soothing as his touch.

“Yes.” I closed my eyes and tried to enjoy his touch without letting myself moan aloud.

I felt Dylan’s lips on the top of my head as he kissed it. “Good. If you fall asleep, don’t worry. I’ve got you.”

He did have me. He had always had me. I could see that, now. Despite the years apart, the new relationship I’d almost forced myself into and my busy life, he was always lurking in the back of my mind and in my heart. Dylan had always had this same effect on me, mind, body and soul.

I tried hard to concentrate on the TV sitting on top of a dresser near the foot of the bed, but the screen blurred in my vision as I relaxed against him, and my eyes drooped. It felt different than sleeping with Alan as if Dylan and I melted together and were held that way by some invisible glue. Alan was always separate, even when we weren’t having sex.

I sensed Dylan was feeling a similar closeness; that maybe we both wanted more, but after all these years, it was a difficult transition. What would we do, or how would it be if afterward? What if it wasn’t as I’d always dreamed? What if it ruined us? I couldn’t bear it.

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