Page 8 of Trading Yesterday

“It’s not your fault. You only agreed because I convinced you it would just rip him open again.”

“You were so hurt, Teagan. You both were, but now I can’t see another way.”

I ran a nervous hand through my hair and looked at the sleeping form of my little girl. Kat was right, but I’d sell my soul if I had any other options. I started crying in heartbroken sobs. “It’s such a mess. I do—don’t know wh—what to do. I’d give anything to go back and have a do-over.”

Kathryn sighed heavily on the other end of the line. “Okay, I’m coming to Atlanta as soon as I get things arranged so I can be with you. But, put on your big girl panties and don’t wait to tell Chase. I think he’s on a short break and this would be a good time for him to come.”

“Yeah. His next game is in Brasilia in three days.”

“Teagan,” she said knowingly.

“I can’t he—help it, Ka—Kat.” I slumped over my lap, one leg hanging off the edge of the bed, and the other curled under me. I knew how pathetic I must seem as I wiped at the tears on my cheeks with both of my hands. I hadn’t seen Chase in almost six years, and while I wasn’t sure where Jensen was traveling, I always knew where he was. He was dating some woman who used to be one of the team trainers and he looked happy, finally. I’d seen her with him in pictures at events and in some of the industry and entertainment articles, and the last thing he deserved was having me screw up his life. “I don’t think I’ll be able to take him looking at me with contempt on his face.”

“He doesn’t talk about you, so I don’t know how he feels, but I do know that you need to tell him, for Remi’s sake. This is about her, not you, or even Chase.”

I listened to her in silence, and then glanced down at my little girl. She was shivering so I scooted closer again and pulled her blanket tighter around her little body, laying down but still holding the phone to my ear. I started crying hard enough for Kat to hear me. “I know.”

“Oh, honey. What about Jensen? How is he?” Kat asked, hesitantly.

“We’re both dealing with the illness. I think he appreciates his time away. He gets to be normal.”

“No, I meant, between the two of you.”

“Not much has changed. He’s always been a very good friend. I owe him everything and love him, but it’s not the same. I’ve tried so hard to open my heart.”

“How will he take calling Chase?”

“Sore subject. He won’t even talk about Chase.”

“Doesn’t he realize—?”

“Yes, he knows it has to be done, but he tends to internalize. It’s like if we don’t discuss it, it’s not real, and it’s become easier not to.”

“The whole thing is so goddamned tragic for all of you. Jensen was always a great guy, but you never forget your first love.”

I closed my eyes as her words made my heart break all over again. “Especially when his eyes are looking up at me every single day. She’s so like him, and not just her face.”

“I can see that,” she added sadly.

“Do you have Chase’s phone number? The old one I had for him is assigned to some woman named Brenda.” I sensed Kat’s question in a couple of beats of silence. “I tried it on his birthday, once,” I admitted.

Kat cleared her throat before she answered. “I don’t have it memorized, but I’ll look it up when we hang up and text it to you. It’s going to be, okay, Teagan.” Her words were stern and matter-of-fact. “Trust me. Chase isn’t a monster.”

My heart surged at the thought of having his number in my possession and I doubted I’d be strong enough to resist calling him, even if Remi wasn’t at the core of it.

“I know. He’s perfect.” I switched hands on the phone, half holding it in place with my shoulder, and then started to stroke Remi’s silky dark hair off of her face. Finally, it was back and long enough that she didn’t look like a cancer patient. I didn’t even want to tell her she might have to start treatment again because I knew she’d be scared and hysterical.

“No, he isn’t. Don’t think about what will happen once he arrives. You’ll deal with it as it comes: just call him.”

“What if he won’t come?”

“I think he will. I gotta get back to work. My break is almost over and I have to have a couple of minutes to send you that number. I’ll call you as soon as I have things arranged to visit. I love you.”

“Okay, love you. Thanks, Kat.”

I didn’t have any siblings, and I was thankful she was still in my life and such a good friend. Fifteen seconds after the call ended, the number came across in a text.

+447 1264 53427

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