Page 51 of Trading Yesterday

“Jensen, please,” I begged, looking up at him looming over me. “I can’t do this right now.”

“What did he say?” he asked coldly.

I shook my head and put up a hand. Fueling the hatred between the two old friends would help no one. “Let’s just get through this. We can’t expect him to take this well and we can’t change what happened.”

“What did he say?” he asked again, more forcefully.

I looked up, resigned. “That he doesn’t owe either of us and to give him space to do what he needs to do. He doesn’t want to relive it.”

Kat looked on uncomfortably, her brow furrowed, and she folded her arms and tried to begin a conversation with Jensen so that I had time to compose myself. “Do you remember me?” she asked stiffly. “I’m Chase’s sister, Kat. Um, I came to help Teagan for a few days.”

My eyes burned, but I willed myself not to cry as I looked up to watch the interaction.

“I do,” Jensen offered.

If the situation weren’t so pitiful, it would be funny. I felt like some idiot kid on the first day of school. No friends, no idea what to do, no composure. The two of them stood, gawking at each other, both searching for words until Kat sat beside me and Jensen loomed over us.

“Teagan, Chase thinks I should go home after I help find him a place to stay for a few weeks. He doesn’t want anyone around. Are you okay with that?”

My elbows were resting on my knees and I clasped my hands together. I wasn’t sure how I felt about being alone with the two men and I hated the thought of Chase in one place, and me in another with Jensen. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to handle any of it.

“Why would he want you to leave?”

Kat lowered her voice. “Well, Chase’s girlfriend, Bronwyn, came back with him from Brazil. She’s at the hotel and he doesn’t want her around either.”

My eyes widened in shock as reality slapped me in the face. “Oh.” I should have known she’d come to Atlanta if Chase was going to be here for any length of time, but I was fragile and on the cusp.

“He has to deal with it in his own way.”

“Don’t we all?” Jensen threw out, pulling his phone from the clip on his belt. He was dressed in old jeans and an ESPN T-shirt, and walked to the hall closet, opened it and pulled out some slip-on Vans. “I’m going to Moe’s, Teagan. I gotta get out of here. Call me after Chase leaves.” He slammed out the front door without another word.

“Wow. What a mess,” Kat murmured incredulously. “I guess when people say time heals all wounds, they’re wrong.”

My face crumpled as I started to cry again. My heart was breaking. “I can’t stand seeing them both in pain. I’m an awful person. I’ve hurt everyone I love, and I feel guilty about them both, and guilty because all I should be thinking about is Remi right now.”

Kat reached out and closed one hand over the top of one of mine, her fingers tightening. “Oh, Teagan. Love can’t be compartmentalized. You might be able to choose how you act or what you say, but not how you feel. Things will work out. They both love Remi so they will learn to co-exist, even if they can never be friends like before.”

“But Chase has been hurt so badly.”

“He has,” she agreed. “But, I feel he’ll move on from this. He’ll come around, you’ll see.” She’d scooted closer so she could sit beside me.

I wanted to tell her that there had been moments when I’d glimpsed the Chase I loved, how I felt him softening, how maybe if he’d only listen, he’d come around, but not with Jensen there. Jensen didn’t deserve any of this any more than Chase did.

“Everything is so awkward,” I murmured miserably. Chase’s girlfriend being here was not something I’d prepared for and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to handle it. Jensen would be off on another assignment and without Kat; I’d be alone with the two of them. I didn’t want to watch them together, I didn’t want to hear them talking like we used to, or hear him be sweet to her. My heart exploded like shrapnel ripping my insides to shreds. I wanted to let my sorrow out like rain, but I had to try to bury it inside. I couldn’t make this about me, no matter how intense the pain.

“I’d feel better if you’d stay. At least until we get the results and know if we can move forward with the treatment.” It was selfish as hell, but I couldn’t help asking. “I know I have no right to ask, and I know Chase wants space, but I’m not sure I can handle things.” I sniffed and my voice broke on a sob as emotion finally spilled over. Kat put her arms around me to offer comfort during my tearful rant. “They’re both so angry and I can’t stand seeing the two of them hating each other. I hate myself for ruining their friendship. They were like brothers.” More tears tumbled down my face as I hugged her back and started to sob. “I’ll never forgive myself.”

She sighed and rubbed my back with one hand. “They both made their own choices. Chase didn’t have to leave, and Jensen didn’t have to marry you. Don’t take it on all by yourself. It’s gonna work out because Remi needs all of us.”

Nothing she could say would lessen my guilt. As much as it hurt to admit, I knew everything was completely my fault. “Then you’ll stay?”

“I don’t know, Teagan. My brother is already furious with me. I’m not sure what is the right thing to do.”

“Kat, please? The truth is; with Remi’s condition so precarious, my emotions are shot. I’m just not strong enough to see Chase with Bronwyn.”

Kat’s expression was a mixture of sympathy and surprise. “I guess I understand that given he’s your first love, Teagan, but what about Jensen?”

“It’s complicated,” I began. I needed someone to know the truth and if Chase refused, maybe Kat would listen. “I’ll never love anyone more than Cha—”

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