Page 78 of Loved By The Bad Boy

Plus, he’s more relaxed. He has been acting differently since yesterday, happier. I don’t want to burst his bubble. I finish typing and go over our results once more. Everything seems okay. I hit send. I’ve barely done that when he lifts me off the chair and walks across the room to the bed.

His back rests against the headboard. He positions me on his lap and runs his finger over my lips.

“Do you want to go out?” he asks.

I’m not sure. We leave tomorrow morning. The thought excites and scares me. I extended my one-week stay here by an extra three weeks without my parent’s blessings. Hayden is also upset.

Our conversation has grown short and awkward. “Do you?” I ask instead.

Ben chuckles. “I don’t know. I guess we should.” He traces my lips with his thumb. My tongue darts out to lick his fingertip, and he blushes. Such a cutie. “I think we should get out of here for a second. Take a walk. Let’s do something fun before we leave, babe. Anything to celebrate.”

We can celebrate here, but we are both in desperate need of a change of environment. I nod and slide off his lap, turning my back to him as I pull off my clothes. Ben whistles at my nakedness.

Because we spend so much time indoors, there is no need for underwear. Plus, it gives him easier entry to the promiseland. I see him coming right behind me through the mirror, but I stay put, acting busy. When he’s a few inches away from me, I dash into the bathroom and lock the door.

Laughter bubbles in my throat and spills out of my lips. Ben knocks. “Gracie. Open the door.”

He’s still knocking when I enter the shower. If we bathe together, we’ll have sex. If we have sex, we’ll cuddle. If we cuddle, we’ll sleep. I’m not against doing that, but we need to leave this room or house for a change. At least I went out once. Ben hasn’t been anywhere besides the courtroom.

Warm water jets down on me. I scrub my eyes hard like it will erase the memory of everything I witnessed. It will be good to forget Theresa. Sadly, she’s a big part of our lives we cannot ignore.

Mom would have scolded me for hitting her. Dad would have given me a pat on my back when his wife wasn’t looking. Hayden would have winked. I lather my hair, prickling my scalp harder than I intended. Thoughts of my parents sadden me, and a dull pain spreads through my chest.

You’ve changed, Mom said on our last call. It would have been a good thing if she wasn’t so sad about it. I know they blame Ben. It’s not in my place to tell them about his childhood experience, but I’m not sure I can keep it away from them for long if I want to return to their good side.

A simple bath turns into something more. Tears mix with the water running down my face, and the little control I have over my emotions snaps. I place a hand on the tiled walls, willing myself to calm down. But my shoulders vibrate with each quiet sob that escapes me. I’m so exhausted.

Everything that has happened in the last few weeks rolls over me like a movie on fast-forward.

The trials.

Ben’s breakdown.

The arguments with my parents.

The final hearing.

It feels like I have been holding it in for too long, pretending to be strong for Ben without having a support system for myself. I miss home. Ben has gotten justice. He’s at peace with his family. I need to go home and fix the mess I created. Forcing myself to hurry, I try to comfort myself with tomorrow’s trip. They don’t know I’m returning. I hope to surprise them into forgiving me.

I step into the room after what feels like ages. Ben is sulking. He breezes past me without a word and slams the bathroom door shut. I try the door handle, but it doesn’t budge. My gaze alternates between the door and the closet. I shuffle to the closet and remove some clothes, pulling out a matching shirt for us. I am too emotionally and mentally drained to fight or argue over something that silly. It might be the environment affecting my mood. We need to get out of here.

Minutes later, Ben is out of the bathroom. He ignores the clothes I spread out on the bed for him and removes a hanger. Tension rolls off him in big, angry waves. I chew on my lip and take tentative steps toward him. My arms wrap around him from behind, but he shrugs them off.

My hands tremble. My chest seems to close in on me. “Benny, it’s your Gracie.”

Ben squats to put on his sneakers, and the tiredness hits me harder. I want my parents. I crouch to his level and pull his cheeks. He doesn’t swat my hand, neither does he say a word to me.

“I love you,” I tell him.

He stops fiddling with the lace of his sneakers. “I love you too, but I’m not happy with you.”

“Oh.”

If it is because of the bathroom incident, I have nothing more than that to say in my defense.

Ben cups my jaw, searching my face for the unknown. “Why did you lock the door? Gracie, is there something you are not telling me?” I shrug. I should have let him in with me, now that I think of it. If we had bathed together, I wouldn’t have broken down. “Babe. Wait, are you crying?”

“You’re not happy with me,” I murmur through the foolish tears and swipe at my running nose. The next second, I’m lifted off the ground and into his arms. He lowers himself to the bed and rubs my back. I bury my face in his shoulder and inhale him. His scent relaxes me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want us to get distracted because you know what happens when we are both naked, babe.”

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