Page 75 of Loved By The Bad Boy

“Young lady,” Judge Martins murmurs. His voice comes out so calmly that I stop fighting the person holding me. “I should have you locked up until this is over. But I’m feeling very generous today.” He is? What does that mean? He nods at the person behind me. “She will wait outside.”

Before I am whisked away, I see the blood trailing down Theresa’s forehead. The sight fuels me. She’s not so powerful now, eh? All she is good for is molesting little boys who are too weak to defend themselves. I am forced out of my anger-induced haze when the guard drops me on my butt outside. I shoot to my feet and dust myself. He blocks my path, standing at ease with his hands folded in front of him. I make to bypass him, but he pulls me back like I am a rag doll.

Okay. What the fuck is wrong with this dude?

Maddie rushes toward us. She’s still in a state of shock. I might have been the same if I watched myself. Her facial expression pushes tears into my eyes. She runs her hand over her forehead and lets out a breath. The guard steps back to give us privacy, and I contemplate running back inside.

“Don’t even think about it,” the guard states. I flip him the bird sign, but he doesn’t spare me a glance. Maddie massages my shoulders. Her lips curl into a smile like she is sifting through her words.

“That was a good one,” Maddie whispers. For a second, everything is okay as we grin at each other like best friends. Our interaction is short-lived. Her shoulders slump. “They won’t let you in.”

“Benny needs me.” Her lips disappear into a line. I look at the guard. “Please.”

But he is staring straight ahead like the walls behind me hold something of interest.

“Tessa,” Maddie says, but I’m not listening. The entire system is fucked up. There’s someone in there defending a pedophile, and I’m out here because I hit her. “Tessa, please try to calm down.”

How can I? Tears stream down my cheek. I wipe them with my sleeves and redirect my attention to the guard. There has to be a conscience or heart under that ugly uniform. “What if it was you? And you saw the person who molested your kid? Would you just sit there?” His brows twitch, but his fingers remain curled around his belt loops. Fuck him. “He needs me! Benny needs me.”

I hate all these people, especially this guard. I don’t care if he’s doing his job, but Ben needs me.

Maddie walks up to the guard. She says something in hush tones, but his face remains stoic. She returns to me with a sad smile. “I have to go.” I unhook the necklace I got for my birthday. If I’m not there, I’ll still be with him. “We will see what we can do, okay? We will sort this in no time.”

She’s lying. It won’t be sorted. They banned me from entering because I attacked the defendant.

Oh my God. I will miss the whole trial. A sob lodges in my throat and eventually tunnels out of my lips when Maddie leaves. I wrap my arms around myself and try to keep the tears in check.

I fucked up. I should have kept my temper in check. Now, I’m breaking my promise to Ben. I told him I would be there every step of the way. But where am I? I am such a horrible girlfriend.

The guard nudges my shoulder. I hurriedly wipe my tears with my sleeve and glare at him. It is his also fault. It is everyone but Ben’s fault. I need to stop bitching and think of a solution.

“I’m sorry I can’t let you go in,” he says. He can choke on his apology. My gaze flickers to his gun pouch, and the thoughts that infiltrate my mind force me to step back. “But you can watch.”

Hope lights up my eyes. “How?”

The guard starts for the same door we exited. Our footsteps bounce off the walls in loud thumps. I try to tiptoe, but it makes no difference. He stops inches away from the door and places a finger on his lips as a signal for me to be quiet. I’ll be quiet. I’ll be anything as long as it gets me inside.

Instead of walking to the door, he makes a detour to a door I never noticed. He opens the door to a cubicle with only a high stool, a table, and a short window that allows a view of the trial room. Without a word to me, he steps out of the cubicle, and I climb onto the stool to get a better view.

Ben’s hands are clenched on the table, and his knuckles have gone white. Maddie is talking. Josef too. The judge looks bored. Theresa has a band-aid on her forehead. A grim sense of pride flicks through me. I should have done more damage to the she-devil, given her a permanent scar.

The trial continues for minutes, maybe hours. I don’t move, not even to take a piss. From their faces and gestures, I doubt it’s going well. The judge lifts his hand, and everyone goes silent. He gives a curt nod to both lawyers and leaves the hall. Theresa and her lawyer follow behind him.

I sneak out of the cubicle to get to Ben, but his parents are already outside. Melancholy hangs over them like a cloud. Maddie sees me first and hugs me. Josef too. They are both detached. Ben joins them with my necklace hanging from his wrist. His eyes meet mine, and he pauses.

To our shock, Ben walks past everyone, even me. Wait, what? I jog after him, but he’s walking too fast for me to catch up with him. Ben hurries past Josef’s car. My heart beats painfully fast the further his feet move. My lungs scream for air, but I don’t stop walking to catch my breath.

“Ben. Benny, please,” I yell at his back. He stops. Panting, I bridge the gap and place a hand on his shoulder. Emotions swirl in his eyes, none of them positive or welcoming. I choke on a sob and pull him forcefully into my embrace. “Benny. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You’re okay, Benny.”

Ben’s arms don’t wrap around me. He is stiff. The only thing he says is, “You left me.”

Thirty-Two

“I didn’t leave you,”I whisper. Ben eases out of the one-sided hug. I reach for him again, and he jerks back, causing my hand to cut through thin air. He is here, but he is so far away. “Benny.”

His smile doesn’t reach his eyes. He tucks his hands into his pockets and rocks on his heels. I try not to freak out as seconds of icy silence pass. “It’s okay. Some battles are meant to be fought alone.”

My heart breaks. If I listen closely, I might hear it shatter completely. I hide my hurt beneath a shaky smile. We are less than a foot away from each other, but the emotional distance is wider.

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