Page 68 of Loved By The Bad Boy

Maddie laughs. “You talk as if he’s alone. I’m not going anywhere. Go out for a walk. You need it.”

Maybe she’s right. I head back to the living room. Josef is still there with his laptop on his lap. I want to be as wealthy as him so I never have to worry about being at work. His quiet presence makes me nervous. It will only be more awkward if I walk out of here without a word to him.

“Hi,” I say. Fiddling with the hem of my shirt to gather courage, I fake a smile. “I’m going out.”

Josef reaches into his pocket for something and pulls out a bunch of keys. Face taut, he stretches the bunch to me. “You can use the car outside. There’s some cash in the glove compartment.”

I don’t want to use his car or accept his money. He’s the enemy. I also don’t know how to refuse it, so I shuffle toward him and collect the keys. Will he be upset if I crash his car? Probably not, but Ben will lose his shit.

“Thanks,” I murmur.

My steps falter in front of the door when Josef calls out to me. “Tessa.” I don’t turn, but my hand closes around the knob without twisting it. “How’s he? Is he doing okay? I’ve been meaning to ask.”

“He’s doing perfectly fine,” I answer with my gaze fixed on the door.

I don’t wait for his next question. I wrench the door open and slam it harder than I intend to. My breath comes out in heavy pants. I swipe my hands over my shirt and march to Josef’s car. I kick the front tire once, twice, until I’m raining kicks on it. Why did he have to father someone so evil and with the same name as me? Why can’t he talk to Ben himself? God knows it will make a difference.

Kicking the tire helps. I slide into the car and clench the steering until the anger is largely out of my body. I run my fingers over the dashboard and console. The interior is prettier. I start the car without a destination in mind. Ben loves ice-cream. I can get some for him. I drive aimlessly until the building of Broadway Heights appears, continuing up the path that leads to the school’s gate.

What the hell am I doing here? It’s ten minutes before lunch break. I squeeze into a spot between two cars and bring out my phone to text Ben. There’s no reply, but I type a new cheesy message.

Me:I’m happy I woke up next to you.

Me: My love for you is like an exponent. It’s always going up.

In calculus, we learned about exponents, and the graphical representation shows the exponent is always ascending. My love for Ben is like that, maybe more. It’s on an upward slope heading to infinity. I can only hope he remembers how much I love him even when he’s feeling down.

Someone bangs the door as the faint echo of the bell reaches my ear. I tense, then hit a button to roll down the window. Olivia waves like I am a fellow cheerleader, and I respond with a scowl.

We are not friends. Not anymore. Plus, I don’t understand her. Maybe I never did when we were friends. She has so many layers underneath, and I didn’t even scratch one. This could be a trick.

“Hey. Didn’t know you were coming,” Olivia says. She still looks pretty but with less makeup.

“Didn’t knowIwas coming,” I snap. Annoyance zips through me at her subtle glances inside the car. “Ben is not here.” She offers me a grim smile. Yeah, caught in the act. “What do you want?”

“Nothing.” She straightens up and curls a strand of hair around her pinky finger. “Saw the car…”

“And thought it was Ben,” I finish for her. Of course she can identify Josef’s car.

“Pretty much,” she replies. As always, she’s not contrite. It annoys me now more than ever that I allowed her to get away with so many things. She cannot do much without her minions. The only actual power she had over me was her words. Words she used to chip at my insecurities until I believed them. “How are you and your new school? How’s New York? Did you get into NYU?”

“Can you stop? Ben is not here, so you don’t have to pretend.”

Taken aback by my outburst, Olivia steps back but doesn’t get far away because of the car beside mine. Why did I ever tell her about NYU? How dare she ask me about school like this is normal?

“I am not pretending.”

And pigs can fly.

“Did you ever feel bad for putting up that video?” I have always wanted to ask but never got the chance. Ben never mentioned it, but I know he still believes she is innocent. “I mean, somewhere in your black heart, there has to be some… a part of you that realizes you fucked up with that one.”

“Tessa.”

My voice breaks, and I exhale. “We used to be so close, Olivia.”

“I didn’t put up the video.”

I punch the steering, and the horn goes off. Olivia doesn’t run off. I wish I could scare her away.

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