Page 3 of Loved By The Bad Boy

“If you don’t want the boots, I can have them,” he says, but I don’t understand a single word.

After a mock salute, he walks out. I stand there for so long that I lose count of time. Gracie left for New York.

She left, and it’s my fault.

Two

BEN

Josef’s placeis unusually quiet when I reach there. I shut the door behind me and take a tentative step in. The television is on, but no one is in the living room. I jog up the stairs to my room and stop.

My stepfather is in my room. He’s not alone. Mom is with him. They look up at the sound of my footsteps. I see fear in her blue eyes when she stands to hug me briefly before walking out of the room. I’m left alone to face Josef. Her absence hurts, like a betrayal of some sort. She always abandons me at the wrong time. Josef pats a spot on the bed for me, and I stagger toward him to sit.

“Benjamin. I need you to be honest with me.” This cannot be good. He never calls me by my full name. My palms moisten, and I swipe them against my jeans. His tone spells bad news. “Are you in trouble?”

I shake my head, unsure of what he’s getting at. He places both hands on his knees and sighs.

“What is it?” I ask.

“Are you doing drugs? Be honest.”

“What?” Josef sags. His whole body deflates, and I feel the need to defend myself. I have been spending the nights here since we won the All-Rounder. The house reminded me too much of Gracie, who hates that I smoke. I am clean. “No, Josef. I am not doing drugs. I’ll never do drugs.”

“Okay,” he replies with a nod and a hint of doubt. “Your mom and I are worried, that’s all.”

I don’t need them to be worried about me. I am worried enough about myself. I haven’t had time to process Gracie’s departure. If she’s in New York, then it is over for us. I sit up, back straighter than a pencil. Josef is smiling worriedly at me. He’s tired. Dealing with me can be exhausting.

“About what? What are you worried about? What’s going on? I don’t do drugs.”

If my stepfather doesn’t believe me, I don’t know if I’ll survive. Josef stands, and my thoughts try to take over my head. He walks to my closet and returns with a bag I recognize immediately.

Shit. I forgot about that.

Josef upturns the bag, and the content topples to the bed. Wads of dollars. Enough to make up to fifty thousand dollars. It must have freaked him out. I would have freaked out under different circumstances. I never touched it because it’s our win, our money, and we haven’t discussed it.

“That’s fifty thousand bucks, Ben.” He holds his face in his hands like he cannot believe I have access to such an amount. It shouldn’t be a big deal to him since he’s a rich man. I try to pull off a shrug, but who am I kidding? Fifty thousand dollars is no joke. “Where did you get this cash?”

From illegal fighting? Mom might have a heart attack if I confess that. Josef runs a hand through his scalp. Seeing how worried he is about his asshole stepson is almost funny and endearing. He is acting like my real dad. The thing is, I don’t know what to tell him. There’s no correct answer.

“Benjamin, I need you to be honest with me, okay? Your mom is worried. I am too.”

“Because she is?” I ask. He cares because Mom cares. Left to him, he wouldn’t want anything to do with me. At least, that’s what I think.

Josef sits on the bed, his head hanging between his shoulders. “Yes. And because I care about you, too. I’m not trying to replace your father, Ben. I just…” His heavy sigh echoes in the room, and he raises his head to give me a small smile. “I don’t know how to connect with you. You have put up this block between us, raised it so high it’s hard to get past it. Even for your mom.”

I shrug. It’s like what Gracie said when I asked why she was so closed off from everyone in school. If she doesn’t let anyone in, she won’t get hurt. I have been practicing that with them.

“Help me so I can help you, Ben. Are you in trouble?”

“Gracie left for New York without telling me,” I say with a half-smile. “Does that count as trouble?”

He answers after a heartbeat. “Maybe. It depends.” He shoves the wads of cash into the bag and drops it at my feet. “Can we sort this out first? Ben, how did you get this outrageous amount?”

I drum a finger on my knee. To tell the truth or not? Maybe he will listen. Maybe I’ll get freedom like Olivia. Josef shifts closer to me like he can tell I’m contemplating my words. He throws an arm around my shoulder.

“You can talk to me.”

“Okay. I got it from fighting,” I reply quietly. I don’t think Josef understands me, so I try to explain. “There’s a list. A really long list of everything you ever bought for me since you married Mom.”

---