“Um…”

I don’t know. It all links back to my boyfriend. If I am not with Ben, Olivia won’t bother me.

“Honey, I don’t think Ben is good for you anymore.”

Ben is perfect for me. I am the fuck up. He did nothing but try to support his friend. I shouldn’t have put him in that uncomfortable position. What did he mean by he has no more words for me?

“You have become someone else since you started dating him.” It’s untrue. I have only become a more daring and confident version of myself. Olivia might have posted the video to spite me, but it’s not Ben’s fault. “Sweetheart, you missed classes. You beat a fellow student because of him.”

“It’s not because of him.” I retract my hands from her grip. “She had it coming a long time ago.”

Mom doesn’t buy it. She’s convinced Olivia’s menace stopped after Halloween night. I tug on the hem of my shirt. If Dad took care of the bills, he knew what I did. Hayden must know, too.

“What happened?” Mom asks. I remind myself she is my mother and will be on my side as I pick up my phone on the nightstand. There are missed calls from Dad and Hayden. Hayden, I can handle. Dad, I’m not so sure. The knots in my belly double when I open the homepage of BGC. “What is this?”

The post is still there. Mom frowns at the caption. “Zebra skin? What’s that about?”

I hit play on the video. “Just watch it.”

The video starts, but I don’t stay to watch. I scuttle to the end of the bed, and Mom raises a brow. I plug my fingers into my ears and try to shrink into myself. It doesn’t help, so I spell vitiligo backward, but that only puts a foul taste in my mouth. This is happening because I have vitiligo.

After what feels like days, Mom places a hand on my back. She is furious. “Olivia posted this?” My arm lifts in a slight shrug. She is the only one who calls it zebra skin. “Tessa, are you sure?” I don’t know anything anymore, but my head dips in a nod. Mom stands. “I need to make a call.”

The door shuts quietly behind Mom. Alone again, my thoughts circle back to Ben. I don’t know why I dial his number, but it stings when I get no response. I send my boyfriend a text and ping him on WhatsApp. He reads the messages but doesn’t reply to any of them. The ache in my chest grows from the size of a pebble to the size of an apple. He has picked his side, and it’s not mine.

Tears fill my eyes. I toss the phone on the bed and pick it back up. Still no response from him.

Me:Benny I’m sorry. Please forgive me.

What am I sorry for?

No idea. But I don’t want us to break up. I still love him. Tears stream down my face. My phone beeps, and I rush for it. I hiss. There is a text from my brother. I wipe my nose before replying.

Hayden:are you okay? what happened?

Me: it’s a long story. Can I tell you tomorrow?

Hayden:sure. but are you okay?

Me:I don’t know. Ben won’t talk to me.

It’s the first time I am discussing my relationship issues with Hayden. Since they are both guys, he might give me some insight on how to move forward with Ben. The dots show he is typing. Seconds pass, and they disappear. My shoulders sag when only two lines of text appears.

Hayden:what does Ben have to do with anything? he’s the least of your worries right now.

Hayden:is he the reason you beat her?

The fact that everyone is quick to blame this on Ben worries and annoys me. They act like I can’t think on my own, as if I need his permission to hit people. I have become a different person since Ben, but I like to think it’s a good type of different. They should be proud I stood up for myself.

Me:I’ll tell you everything tomorrow.

Hayden: OK. be careful. I love you.

I hide under the covers but can’t sleep. My thoughts rally back to Ben. I grab my phone and open the gallery. Hundreds and hundreds of pictures stare back at me. Pictures of him. Pictures of us.

Dad’s name appears on my screen. I mutter a small prayer before answering. “Tessa? Are you there?” he says when I keep mute. “Did I wake you? I just got off the phone with your mother.”

Here comes the big punishment. Dad is not one to get angry, but the few times he does, no one likes it. He becomes brutal with his words, using them as a weapon without caring how you feel. The shame you feel hearing him speak in that manner is supposed to be the punishment. It sucks.