Page 70 of Broken By the Bad Boy

My chest rumbles with laughter. I flick a finger over her nose, and she whines. “Shut up, Gracie.”

We stay there for so long that I lost count of the time. Our chests rise and fall. The sleep clears when Gracie says, “Why are you so mad at your mom?” My eyes close. I trace random patterns on the parts of her belly with the whitest spots. “Benny, I love you, and your answer won’t change how I feel about you. I promise.”

Gracie is telling the truth, but I whisper, “Not today. I don’t feel like talking about it.”

“Alright, babe. I’m here for you.”

Until she has to go to New York.

I press a soft kiss to her lips and hug her close. I won’t focus on that. I’ll focus more on the present and all the beautiful memories we can create until she changes states.

Thirty-Four

Maria is an idiot.She won’t stop teasing me. I bite a piece of my cake, and a tiny smile forms on my lips as my phone lights up with a new text. Ben nudges me with his foot. I look up from my phone, and my cheeks redden at the memory from Saturday. It’s all I think about these days, and Maria’s jokes are not helping.

“What’s up?” he asks.

Ben props his hand on the table, and I shrug. How do I tell him my best friend is asking naughty questions about him? She wants to know how far we went and if we intend to do the deed next time. I don’t have answers for her or myself. Maybe I shouldn’t have told her about that afternoon.

“The ceiling,” I say with a smile and throw an arm around his neck. He sneers. “Just happy to be here.”

Ben grunts. He watches me finish my snack while the rest of the cafeteria minds their business. We are sitting away from his friends today. I don’t mind, but Olivia is there. We don’t talk, and I still dislike her.

“Have you decided on a college?” Ben asks. His question is so random, so out of the blue, it renders me speechless. I stare at him like a deer caught in headlights. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I… I have.” His hip bumps mine, and I offer him a jittery smile. I should mention the school’s name and have the conversation once and for all, but I am too scared to say it. “Have you?”

“Nope.” A yawn escapes him, and he covers his mouth. “I think I will stay back for one year.”

If he stays back, I might not see him for a year. The thought hits harder than I expect, and my fingers sink into my knee until my heart stops pounding. We will figure something out.

“Why?” I ask. Ben shrugs. “Benny, why?”

“I’m not ready for college,” Ben says. My heart drops. This is not good. I am not exactly ready, but this is one step toward the future—our future. “Ready to go?” he asks when I finish my meal.

I toss the can. Ben offers me his hand to help me to my feet, and we start for our next class.

“What school?”

The bell saves me from replying. Ben’s hand clamps down on my wrist to stop me from rushing into the class like the other students running past us. I think he knows I don’t want to tell him.

“Benny. I’ll be late.”

Ben drags me under the stairwell. He pins me between him and the wall. “Gracie, what’s the name of the school?” I open my mouth and close it. His hand runs through his hair. “Please, babe.”

“I… I haven’t made up my mind.”

He straightens up. His hand covers his mouth, and his eyes narrow. “You’re lying.”

“Yes. I am,” I confess. I don’t know why I bother trying to lie. “Can I tell you after school?”

Ben stops pacing and rubs his hand over his mouth. “Why can’t you answer me now?”

The distance between us grows. I hug my backpack to replace Ben’s body warmth.

“I don’t think you will like my answer, Benny, and I don’t want to go to class knowing I ruined your mood.”

Ben kisses me without notice. Hard and urgent and feverishly. I only respond when he grunts into my lips, and my hands weave into his hair. His mouth is everywhere. On my nose, my jaw, my neck, then back on my lips again. He pours his unspoken words into the kiss, and my heart wells up with guilt. He doesn’t want me to pick a school far away. But I already did.

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