Page 51 of Broken By the Bad Boy

“And I regret it,” Ben says. His hands stop working magic on my feet. I whine, and he continues massaging them. “You are pretty too, yunno?” Yeah, right. He is only saying that to make me feel better. I am cute in a:I want to rub your headtype of way. Olivia is hot.“Gracie, you are.”

He nods at the rearview mirror, palming my face, so I can look at my reflection: my messy hair and red lips. “Look in the mirror. See for yourself. You are pretty and smart, and you bought me ice-cream. No one dislikes you. It’s just hard to talk to the girl who stays away from everyone.”

“That way, I won’t get hurt. It’s like a shield, a defense mechanism,” I explain. Olivia was one of my best friends, and it didn’t end well. Ben tugs me to his lap and strokes a side of my face. I draw strength from his touch to express my insecurities. “Sometimes, I feel like you will leave me for that girl. That you will wake up one day and realize you are not in love with me. After spending all that time with her, knowing her as well as you do, you have to feel something for her.”

“Gracie—”

I shake my head. He has to let me finish. He is uncovering a new layer of me, and I don’t know how to feel about it. I look up to Ben. He’s frowning. My chest tightens, and I pour out my heart.

“I know you love me,” I whisper. “I love you too, but I still have those thoughts.”

Fears are stupid. You know it’s not true, but you can’t help thinking about it until you believe it.

His arms wrap around me, and he rocks both of us. “I think you’re insecure. We all are.” As if that’s a word in his dictionary. “When Mom remarried, I saw the dynamic of our family change. It scared me. Still does.”

I tap a finger to his chin until he relaxes. “So, I told myself to avoid relationships. That way, I don’t have to worry about being someone’s second choice.” My heart sinks. His hold on me tightens. I sit up on his lap and cup his face. “Then you came, Gracie. You annoyed me, and you loved me,” he says with a smile.

He annoyed me too. Too much. But he loves me now, so it makes up for all those days.

“That’s why you receive those random texts from me, asking if you still love me.” Oh. It makes so much sense now. We both have our fears. I must never forget that. Our foreheads meet, and he smiles. “Sometimes, I’m scared you will leave me, but I try not to think about it. If I focus so much on my fears, it will ruin the good moments. It will ruin us. So, relax. I love you. Always and forever.”

His hand curves over his chest to form half of a heart, and my hand joins to make it a whole heart.

“Always and forever,” I add.

Twenty-Four

“I missed a class,”I say to the person on my screen. I shake my head. “Classes. I missed classes.”

Maria squeals. I plug my fingers into my ears. “Yass. Bad bitch. My baby girl is growing.”

Only Maria applauds bad behavior. I push my laptop forward and prop my elbows on the table. A smile lifts the corners of my lips at the memory of Tuesday’s outing. We should do more of it.

“It was really nice, Maria,” I tell her. The talk, the moment of peaceful silence. His presence. Everything was perfect. Maria’s head bobs in agreement, and I tuck my hands under my chin. “I think I’ll do it again.”

Her screen goes black for a nanosecond, the ceiling of her room comes into view, then her face. Her jaw drops like she’s hyperventilating. She’s such a drama queen. I would never do something like that on a regular day, but yeah, I did it. And she can get over it. It was fun, the kind I would love to repeat.

Maria’s face occupies my screen again, and she screams, “Theresa Grace Mower, what is happening?”

“Nothing? It was fun, though.” My fingers trace the corners of the laptop. She hums in reply, a big smile on her lips as she listens to me talk about our date. I splay a hand on the mirror. I should add a picture of Ben and me below that of Maria’s. “Benny wants us to get married.”

“Married?” Her head jerks up, and her hair escapes from its loose bun, flowing down to her chest. She sits up on the bed, her body stiff. “Tessa, you know we are young. Practically kids, right? You’re seventeen.”

She didn’t think we were kids when it was time to fly over to Las Vegas to chase her dreams.

“I’ll be eighteen soon,” I remind her. Her head bobs, but her face conveys her true feelings. She is worried, and it annoys me. It’s almost as if she and Hayden don’t think Ben and I will survive this relationship. “We are not getting married now. But in the future. Don’t you and Daniel talk about such things?”

“Nope.” Lines appear on her forehead, and she shakes her head. “Don’t you know the saying? Never have a boyfriend before college?” My brows draw together, first in confusion, then in irritation. That’s a stupid saying. “Talking about the future will put silly pressure on you two.”

“If you don’t talk about your future now, how can you make plans or know if you’re compatible?”

Maria laughs. “We are compatible, alright.” There is a malicious note in her voice, like she is in on a secret I don’t know about. I sigh, and she plasters a fake smile on her lips. “We are trying to take things slow.”

Slow is not a word that exists between Ben and me. We take things at our pace, do what we are comfortable with, and it works. My excitement dwindles, and my fingers hover over the keyboard with half a mind to end the call. This video call is long overdue, but it feels like a bad idea.

I squeeze my shoulders together. “Well, I don’t feel pressured.”

“If you say so, Theresa.” She never calls me Theresa except as a joke, but her voice has lost its humor. “But talking about marriage in high school sounds like pressure to me.”

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