Page 46 of Broken By the Bad Boy

“I’m your boyfriend, but you were eating with Noah,” I mutter. “You didn’t even check on me.”

Biting into her fry, she says, “Sure did.” She takes a noisy sip of her drink. “You were with Olivia.”

Twenty-One

Ben is annoying me,really getting on my nerves. He wants to give me shit for talking to Noah when I saw him hugging Olivia in front of art class. I don’t like Noah. I am only tolerating him because he is Lett.

“Is that what this is about? The attitude?” he asks. I shrug. “Did Olivia say anything to you?”

The fry loses its taste in my mouth, but I keep munching to keep my mouth busy. Maybe he will go away. If Maria were here, she would have chased Ben from our table. I miss her. Ben taps my knee for a reply, and I press my legs together. I am tired of talking about Olivia. She ruins my mood even in her absence.

Hoots from the football jocks’ table draw my attention to Noah. His gaze holds mine captive, and a chill runs through me. A cheerleader is on his lap, but his eyes seek mine. He was begging me to accept his apology before Ben arrived. When Ben looks his way, he darts his gaze to the chic on his leg.

Moments later, I feel eyes on me, but I don’t check the source. It must be Noah. I hug myself.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” I tell Ben. Lie. I want to talk to him, but not if we will discuss Olivia. She already ruined this year for me, and it has barely started. Ben lied to me. “Go away.”

Ben lets out a sigh. He drums his fingers on the table and places his other hand on the bench. “I understand, but I want to talk to you.” I almost smile at the longing in his words. “After that, I’ll leave.”

The smile vanishes. He wants to leave me again. Hearing it hurt more than it did in the morning. I dig my nails into my knees. First, he lies to me. Now, he acts like he doesn’t want to be here.

“Go ahead then. Speak.”

Ben chuckles. It’s a delicious sound I have missed hearing. I turn to him. He grins, showing off his perfect dentition. I lick my lips and look down at my tray. I miss having his lips on mine.

“You look so cute when you’re angry,” he says.

My insides melt. I fight the silly smile struggling to make an appearance. Ben knows the effects of his words on me. He is not buying my forgiveness with a compliment. Why is he here if he doesn’t want to be around me?

“Too bad you won’t be around me anymore to see the cuteness,” I say, and it shuts him up.

The air of playfulness hovering above Ben dissolves, and the tiny voice in my head reminds me of how much of an asshole I have become. It’s not my fault. Ben made me this way. I care about him and what I get in return is a lie that ruins the rest of my holiday. He should have told me.

Ben is quiet for so long that I become edgy. Nervousness builds inside me. I peek at his face as he lowers his bag to his legs. Should I tell him? I count backward, and on the count of five, I stand. The cafeteria is half-empty. Noah and the cheerleaders are at their table but preparing to leave. I grab my bag on the floor to leave before the bell rings. But there’s one problem. Ben is blocking my way out. The options are: climb the table or ask him to move. I prefer the former.

“Remember when you first told me you loved me?” I grip my bag. I remember clearly, and my feelings haven’t changed. Thoughts of him consumed me throughout my morning classes. His happiness remains one of the most important things to me. “And I asked how you would know.”

Goosebumps break out on my skin when he finally looks up at me. My heart thuds gently against my ribcage, and my mouth dries up. His forehead wrinkles as he stares into my eyes, and a wedge forms between his brows.

“Well, I don’t think you love me anymore, Gracie.” His smile is so sad. My knees turn to jelly, and I have to lean on the table for support. “I’m not happy. You’re not making me happy.”

I set the bag on the table and lower myself to the bench. I don’t like it when he’s sad. “Benny.”

Ben shakes his head to stop me from talking. His fingers comb his hair, and he lets out a heavy sigh. There is nowhere left for me to hide, so I suck it up and meet his sad gaze head-on.

A corner of his lips twitches. “Remember that day at the gym when you were going to give up on us because of something Olivia said to you?” His words hit harder than his smile, stirring a nest of feelings. I twist my hands on my lap. I can’t look away from him, and his eyes scroll over my face, taking in my anxiety and discomfort. “You didn’t even give me a chance to defend myself.”

Our conversation from that day rolls back in slow motion. Everything he said hits me square in the face. I know what he’s driving at, but I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to feel guilty. He offers me that sad smile again. I squeeze my hands harder, and he hugs his backpack tight, as if seeking strength from it.

“What did I say?” A lump wedges in my chest. I open my mouth but say nothing. “To tell me if something’s bugging you, but you didn’t. Now you are giving me attitude, and it’s making me sad.”

“Benny,” I say in a small voice.

My boyfriend’s face conveys all the emotions he feels. He lets his guard down so I can see how much my actions affect him. The guilt twists my guts, and I push forward, so our knees touch.

“You made me sad, too,” I whisper.

“How will I know if you don’t tell me?” Ben hesitates to take my hand, so I take his. I bring it to my face. He half-smiles, and my heart does a little flip. He still likes me. His hand covers my palm, and my skin singes under his touch. “What did I do? Talk to me, Gracie. I always listen.”

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