Page 36 of Broken By the Bad Boy

Me: Thinking about you.

I smile at the blue tick that appears under my message. I can’t believe I was single three months ago. Hayden scoffs as my screen lights up with Ben’s reply. I am smiling before I glimpse it.

Benny: Gracieeee. I miss you :( If I could leave, I would. I want to spend the new year with my girlfriend. *kiss kiss* Did I tell you? Plans have changed. We are going out to eat. She can’t even make up her mind.

Benny: I almost forgot to say I love you. I love you.

Hayden snatches my phone while I am still thinking up the perfect reply to beat that. Ben’s texts are always so cheesy, and they never cease to make me smile. I jump to my feet and stretch my hand for my phone, but he holds it above his head. It’s no use fighting him, as he is almost a foot taller, so I stand there with a deep scowl etched on my lips while he skims through my texts.

Hands crossed, my foot drums into the floor. I love my brother, but this is one of his annoying moments. Thankfully, I’m still floating on the high of Ben’s text. Ben ends all his texts with an:I love you. And I have to do the same when he calls, or he won’t hang up. I think it’s his way of convincing himself that we are real. We are still in the honeymoon phase of our relationship.

A pensive look takes over Hayden’s face when he returns my phone. I bump his shoulder.

“What is it?”

He shrugs. “You guys seem pretty serious.”

My brother’s tone puts me on edge. I place a hand on my hip, sizing him from top to bottom to determine if this is another of his funny remarks. “That’s because we are.” His lips quirk in a half-smile, but he doesn’t say more. I level him a glare to mask the riot happening in my chest. The few times he spoke about Ben, it was always in the positive. “Just fucking say it, Hayden.”

“Language,” he growls out.

“Fine.” My shoulders slump, and I expel the air in my lungs. “What is it? Just tell me.”

Hayden settles down on the end of my bed while I sit on the edge of the dresser. “You have your whole life planned out. New York. Acting school. Auditions. You have sent in your application to NYU, right?” The deadline for regular applicants is January 5th, and I didn’t want to wait until then. I nod for my brother to continue. “I don’t think dating is… I’m only looking out for you, Tessa. In a few months, you will be in different cities. Have you guys discussed colleges yet?”

I nod. “We have.”

“And?” The floor becomes more attractive. I pick up the popcorn littering the floor. “Tessa.”

Mom will have a fit if she sees me on the floor with my new dress, but I am not thinking of her as I fold my legs under me and get comfortable on the floor. My conversation with Ben floats to my mind. My boyfriend doesn’t know about NYU. Schools and his family are things we don’t discuss. He hasn’t mentioned any college, which is scary since most deadlines are approaching.

“Ben hasn’t made up his mind. He might be undecided now, but it doesn’t mean a thing.” At Hayden’s intense stare, I shrug. His girlfriend was still in high school when he left for college. I was so sure they would end up together. But yeah, life happened. Maybe Ben wants to take the year off to figure out his life. People do it all the time. I massage my feet. “We will be fine,bro.”

“If you say so.” We share a glance, and I offer him a tight smile. He scoots off the bed and joins me on the floor. “What if he decides to go to a college here? Or a state far from New York?”

Distance makes the heart grow fonder. It might be the case for us, or Ben will meet more pretty girls and forget about me. He is not that type of person, but I don’t have an honest answer for Hayden. Maybe we are moving too fast, but life is too short for us to let these thoughts inhibit us.

“We’ll make it work,” I say with more conviction. My hand drops to his knee and squeezes. “I will make plans. I have some savings. I’ll save more. We can visit each other once every month.”

“College doesn’t work like that,” Hayden says. “You will be busy.”

The confidence in his voice kills the hope building inside me, and my heart clenches. I retract my hand from his knee, and he looks up with a frown. “You are not being a good big brother right now.”

It’s January one. I don’t need all this negativity, especially from him. College works differently from high school. Yes, so what? We should be allowed these moments. Ben and I will be fine.

“Sorry.” Hayden stretches his hand for a truce. Dad makes us shake hands after a quarrel. It signifies the end of whatever beef we have. I hesitate to accept his handshake. “You know you want to.”

Laughing, I grab his hand. “Whatever. You are just jealous my boyfriend is more handsome than you.” His nose crinkles, and I stick out my tongue. Ben and I will prove all of them wrong. Mom calls our names from downstairs. He chuckles and rises to his feet, dusting the invisible dirt on his pants after helping me up. “Coming,” I yell at the door. “Why don’t you have a girlfriend?”

“Not worth it.”

A few seconds pass with us in a stare-down. Hayden’s brows pinch in a frown. I might have agreed with him last year, but Ben is worth every second we spend together. As if reading my thoughts, he sneers, moving to rearrange my bed while I apply the final touches to my makeup.

“Are you and Liv good now?” he says. I shake my head. “You don’t miss it?”

I used to miss our friendship, but I’m over it. I hold the mascara over my lashes. “Nope. Do you miss her?”

“Na. Where do you think Dad is taking us?” he asks while I finger-comb my hair.

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