Page 87 of Bullied By The Bad Boy

That familiar ball of insecurity rolls through me. The part of me that always feels second place to Olivia jumps awake. “But easy to say no to me, right?” Maybe Maria is right, and I will get hurt if I continue thisthingwith him. “What if I want you here and she doesn’t? Will you go to her?”

The bell rings before Ben replies. His hand circles my wrist when I attempt to stand. “We are not done talking.” I am. I don’t want to have this conversation. I snatch my hand from his grip, and he whispers, “Please.”

I close my eyes and take deep breaths. We are not doing this right. This is why I shouldn’t date. I don’t know the first thing about relationships. The cafeteria is almost empty when my eyes open again. Ben’s contrite face fills my vision. “Gracie, I am sorry. I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

“It was. It is,” I whisper, eyes on my hands tucked between my legs. His finger moves under my jaw, and our gazes meet. Ben sticks out the tip of his tongue, and I crack. I offer him a half-smile. “Maria was right. She’s manipulative.” He winces like I punched him, so I switch topics to avoid an argument. I can already tell she will be an issue for us in the future. “Ben, I have to get to class.”

He stands. “I’ll walk you.”

It takes a few seconds for me to accept his hand. I stare at it like it’s out to attack me. He shoves his hands into his pockets. “Gracie.” The pain in his voice chews me up with guilt. “I’m sorry.”

“It doesn’t make sense, Benny,” I blurt out.

A minute of us staring at each other in silence passes. I loop my hand through Ben’s elbow, and we exit the cafeteria. Ben slows his pace. We don’t have a class together for the rest of today, so I want this moment to last a while longer. Emotions are weird. I am mad at him, but I still want to be around him.

“What doesn’t make sense?” he asks once we climb the stairs leading to the lockers.

“The fact that you like me all of a sudden,” I answer.

His sigh is so deep it bounces off the wall. Ben stops. I stop. “What if I’ve been secretly crushing on you?” I frown. That’s impossible. I’m not the type of girl anyone would crush on. Secretly or openly. I’m that reserved. No one knows me. “Give yourself a bit more credit, Gracie. Own it.”

Easy for a jock who everyone loves to say. I can’t own it like him. I force a smile to my lips. We resume walking, with our pounding footsteps acting as a reminder that we are both late for class.

“What if Olivia doesn’t want you talking to me?”

Ben doesn’t reply until we are at my locker. I take out some books. “What about it?”

I steal a glance at him. Is he deliberately being obtuse like Maria said? “Everything about it.” He looks on in confusion. Boys. They need us to spell everything out for them. “What if she asks you to pick between her and me? Your friendship with her or me? I’m serious, Benny. What if?”

The lines on his forehead deepen. “If Maria told you to pick between her and me, would you?”

Maria will always be my best friend, but I don’t want to be in that position. She won’t ask that of me.

“I won’t.”

“Me too.” Ben touches his forehead to mine, and the worry choking me slips away. I plant a soft kiss on his lips. “Liv isjustmy friend. She won’t come between us.” I nod in agreement because it feels like that’s what he wants me to do. I hate that girl. I hate that he calls her Liv. “Promise.”

I know we will be fine when he pushes out a finger for a pinky promise. On turning to my locker, a laugh slips from me when I realize I picked out the wrong textbook. I retrieve the correct one and bring out my backpack. Ben places one hand on the locker beside mine. An image flashes through my mind, and chills race down my spine. The last time we were this close, I thought he would hit me.

What if he hits me this time? Or gives me another bruise on my cheeks?

The thoughts take form, and my breath falls out in shallow rasps. I lean on the locker for support. My chest falls and rises as the memory spills out, and an invisible cord tightens around my neck.

He hit me.

Ben grabs my shoulders. I tremble so much I am unable to stand on my own. His lips move, but I can’t hear a word he says. I’m sinking into a deep, dark hole created by this image. My knees turn to jelly, and I fall forward without meeting the ground. Memories rush through me like a movie on fast-forward. He starts breathing, and I follow his breathing pattern until I eventually calm down.

When I recover, my face is squashed against his firm chest, with his fingers drawing random patterns on my lower back. I breathe him in, and the comforting scent of his cologne surrounds me in a bubble. Seconds later, I step back to stare at him. Ben stares back with a worried face.

He palms my cheeks. “You good?”

I contemplate telling him. In the end, I decide to fuck it. “Just remembered when you punched me,” I reply with a fake smile spreading from ear to ear. If we will move forward in whatever this thing is called, I want to be honest with him. His hands drop from my face. He might be sorry now, but it doesn’t change what happened, and I am such a dumb bitch for still liking this jackass. “I know you said it was an accident, but before then, you weren’t much of a nice guy.”

“Yeah.” His hands hover over my shoulders, but he doesn’t touch me. “You forgive me?”

Feeling light-hearted, I push myself to plant a kiss on his lips. “You have to earn it.”

“I will, Juliet.” He deepens the kiss, his tongue seeking entry into my mouth. “I will.”

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