Page 63 of Bullied By The Bad Boy

“That’s nice of him,” she says without meeting my gaze. Her cheeks redden from embarrassment or shyness, I don’t know, and I’m not sure why it’s the case. I’m the one who should be ashamed and embarrassed. Tessa draws a circle on the floor. “So Benny, about the game. I was thinking—”

“It’s fine,” I cut in. Tessa’s head jerks up, and she rolls her lip between her teeth. She needs to stop doing that. I make a sound at the back of my throat, and she lets go of her lip. Poor lips. Okay, where was I? I cough into my fist. “Asher understands. I shouldn’t have pushed that way. Sorry.”

“Are you okay?” she whispers. Don’t I look okay? The façade is back up. “Benny?”

Does she realize she calls me Benny at random? And do I know I haven’t mentioned that to her?

“I’m cool,” I reply. Not like she cares. She has more than one reason to hate me.

Tessa bounces on the soles of her sneakers, her hands intertwined in front of her. “Do you need a hug?” she rasps out. My mouth drops open. “Maria likes to kind of hug me when I’m sad. So?”

“Yes?” I say. She laughs. It dawns on me that she won’t mock me. “Yes, please.”

Her arms wrap around me, and I tuck my face into her shoulder to sniff her. She’s quite skinny. I laugh, and the sound vibrates through her. How did someone this skinny kick my ass in the ring? She’s much stronger than she lets herself show. I need to accord her some respect because she has earned it.

“Do you feel better?” she asks when we pull back.

The hug was too short. “Yeah, thanks. You are kind of nice to hug.”

Tessa offers me a beautiful smile, and I capture it for another time. To revisit and remind myself that I’m more human and less asshole. She wouldn’t be smiling at me if she considered me a jerk.

“I kind of wish you’ll be nicer to me, Benny.” I shove my hands into my pockets, and her eyes hold mine. She’s not scared of me anymore. I like it. “Maybe then I’ll give you nicer hugs.”

Blond hair catches my eyes. I retract the hand I was about to stretch out to solidify our deal of niceness. Tessa is eagerly staring at me so she doesn’t see Olivia strutting toward us. But I do.

“You should go,” I whisper. “Go. Now. Leave. Please.”

“What?”

Olivia is within earshot, so I yell, “Girl, fuck off.” Her smile drops. A myriad of emotions race across Tessa’s face, all heartbreaking. I’m an idiot. “Just go. Please,” I whisper under my breath.

“But—” she tries to say. I shoo her off with my hand like she’s a pest. She’s not. Not anymore.

Olivia finally covers the distance between us. Tessa looks between both of us and nods slowly. I can’t stare at her anymore, but it’s not what she thinks this is. There was an error in judgment once, and that’s it. Her lips pull into a tight smile, and she begins walking backward, away from us. I notice the foot Olivia puts out to trip her a little too late, but by then, Tessa is on the floor. She looks at me for help, but I look the other way. She was nice to me, and this is how I repay her.

“That was unnecessary,” I say when Tessa is gone. Olivia rolls her eyes, and my anger spikes, shooting through every nerve inside me. I step away from her to calm myself. This is mostly my fault. “Liv, you need to stop doing that shit. Now, you made her cry. What do you get out of it?”

“Do you like her, Benjamin?”

“Seriously? That’s the only thing you are concerned about?” My gaze strays to the floor, and I let out a tired breath. How did I end up being friends with Olivia? I sigh again. Tessa didn’t take the bracelet. I am a shitty person, and I owe her a proper apology. I snatch the bracelet from the floor and point a finger at Olivia. “Keep up with this attitude, Liv, and we won’t be friends for long.”

Thirty-Seven

Lett:It was okay. Nothing like the movies, but there was a lot of tongue. Honestly, I regret it. I wish I had given my first kiss to someone I like. Don’t be like me. Make sure your first kiss is someone you love, or you will spend the rest of your life thinking about it. Anyway... Are you going to the Halloween party? I don’t think I’ll go. I have had enough parties to last me the rest of the school year. Parties are a waste of time.

Me:I agree. A big waste of time with horny teenagers and loud music. Sadly, I will be going :( Because my best friend will be there and I can’t break her heart, she will skin me alive. I have my costume, don’t ask, I’m not telling. Thanks for the advice, but why did you kiss someone you don’t like? I can’t do that. I want my first kiss to be special. I want to have my first kiss with my husband. Is that cheesy? I know it is ;) but don’t you dare laugh at me. It’s crazy that we are in the same school. Do you ever think of that?

Lett:A lot. I’m like, what if you are someone I know and maybe hate? Lmao. I don’t hate anyone, BTW. All the hate is reserved for my mother. Lol. As much of an asshole as she is, I miss her sometimes. Is that crazy? Does that make me a wuss? I feel like it does, it makes me pathetic. She’s the only living parent I have, and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life hating her, but she’s barely making any effort. Haha, I digressed. Sorry, not sorry. I really hope you find your Mister right, or you find Mister left and bring him to the right. Did that make you laugh?

And it’s not cheesy. Even if it’s cheesy, it’s the kind of cheesy we all like. My parent’s marriage didn’t work, but that has never stopped me from secretly wanting to have a wife and kids that I’ll shower all my love and attention. I don’t know the kind of husband or father I want to be, but I know the type I don’t want to be. I still have a bit of a girl phobia, so that might take a long time to happen, but it’s not cheesy. I guess the kiss was supposed to help me overcome the phobia, but I felt worse afterward. Like I committed a crime, I dunno, it’s stupid. The girl likes me, that’s for sure. I kind of like her too, but in a different way, if you know what I mean, letter girl.

I think about it a lot. I think about you, try to picture you dropping the letter. Do you smile a lot? What if you are one of those hot girls secretly dying for my touch? Crushing on me since first grade?

Me: Believe me, hot and letter girl are words that should never be used in a sentence. I am far from hot. My mom says I’m cute. I think she says it to make me feel better. You shouldn’t feel bad for kissing her. I’m sure you will feel better after a while, but if you don’t like her, don’t lead her on.

I know adults are supposed to do the reaching out, but if you can and miss your mom so much, I think you should contact her, but only if you want to. You are not pathetic. You are not a wuss. You are an awesome person. I’m sure you will be a great father. Your wife and kids will be lucky to call you theirs. And yes, I laughed. I laughed so hard I farted. I’m lying but did that make you laugh? I think about you too, a whole lot. Lol.

Lett:Nope, I didn’t laugh :/ OK, I did but only a little. You will have to up your jokes. I can teach you but before I do, can I have your number? Like it or not, you are hot. You just have to fake it till you believe it. Easier said than done, but it works. If you think I’m awesome, then I’m allowed to think you’re hot. What do you like doing? What grade are you in? Are you a new student? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.

---