Page 76 of Bullied By The Bad Boy

Me:You can get the details in the letter. But it was hot. I felt everything. Sparks. Fireworks. You name it.

A frown touches my lips when I hit theadd contactbutton and save his name as Lett. We are the oddest pair. I don’t know his first name, and neither does he know mine. And we don’t care. Maybe I do a little, but I guess it’s part of being anonymous. I can easily find him if he tells me his name. He can do the same. If he’s half as popular as I think he is, I will find him in a day, at most two.

Anticipation courses through me as the seconds grow. Why is it taking him so long to reply? If I sent this to Maria, she would have called me as soon as she got the first text. I dial his number. It rings once, and he doesn’t pick. The second time, he denies the call. My heart clenches as I hug a pillow. Seconds later, I roll on my side, tapping random numbers on my calculator till his reply pops up.

Lett:Sorry, can’t pick. Busy with AJ. Sorry for the late replies. Do you like this guy?

Apologies will mean nothing if he doesn’t step up. I want to type that, but I force myself to wait twice as long as it took him to reply. I am busy, too, busy being busy. After a few stretches, I pick up my phone and groan at the time. I used only five minutes. Time is so slow when I’m involved.

Me:Very much. I’ve had a crush on him since forever.

Butterflies flutter in my belly. I bring my knees to my stomach and grin sheepishly at the ceiling. Ben isn’t here, but I’m blushing at the thought of him and our kiss. Is he also thinking of me? Does he smile when I am mentioned or frown like he did on Monday morning? We didn’t discuss that. He effectively dodged my question. I shouldn’t have allowed it if his mood swings still bother me.

Will we be friends? Will we continue kissing secretly? I don’t mind kissing him, but I want to know what we are. Is he my boyfriend? Does he have to ask me out first? Yes. It’s only proper.

Lett:I’m happy you got your first kiss with someone you like. Makes me regret mine all over again. Your first kiss is something you will always remember with a smile. Lucky you, stranger.

Lett:Does he like you?

Me: I confuse him.

Lett:What does that mean?

Me:I don’t know.

His reply takes so long that I stop expecting it. I read the back and forth between us and sigh. He is not ignoring me. He is busy with AJ. I punch the air and practice my kicks. If Ben will be my partner, I’ll have to be in the best shape. It’s so crazy how we are partners in almost everything. Drama. Literature class. And now, fight club. My phone finally pings. I don’t hesitate to pick it.

Lett: Then you shouldn’t be kissing him.

A sliver of anger rushes through me, I clench and unclench my fists, waiting for the annoyance to pass, but it doesn’t. I lower myself to the bed and reread Lett’s message. When he got his first kiss, I was so supportive. As much as it hurt, I didn’t show it, and he can’t do the same for me?

Is this how pen friends act? Wait, is he jealous?

Me:YOU ARE NOT MY DAD. DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

Me:I will kiss him all day if I want to.

Three minutes pass. The idiot reads the message without replying. I reread it once, twice. The words play in front of me until it all begins to make sense, and a truckload of guilt hits me. I dial his number, but he denies the call twice, and my heart cracks into a thousand pieces. Tears sting my eyes. I didn’t mean that. I place a hand over my lips, my body vibrating with remorse. Fuck.

His dad is dead. I’m an idiot.

The three dots I am beginning to hate appear on my screen, and I gulp when they disappear. With the letters, we were safer. We had time to process each other’s messages and reply logically. But this is new territory.

Me: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Sorry. Please don’t be mad. I’m sorry. I don't want us to fight.

Lett: I kissed someone too. I like her. I really do. I have never liked anyone like this before. It kinda freaks me out a little. Fuck that. It freaks me out a lot because I’m not used to this feeling. It feels weird to worry about someone else other than AJ. I’m LOL typing this but I don’t want to get hurt. I spend so much time thinking about her but I am too much of a chicken to ask her out.

Lett:I liked the kiss very much. It made up for the first kiss with all the sparks and fireworks. I wish she was my first kiss because I smile every time I think about our kiss and her cute face.

Lett:Don’t bother to ask. I’m not sure she likes me.

Me: Then you are in no position to judge me.

Lett: I guess. I gotta go now. AJ needs me.

Stupid me. I slap a hand over my forehead and possibly some sense into my skull. Did I have to write that? I didn’t even ask about the girl. Why is he going around school kissing girls? Pinching my stupid self, I frown at my phone. I’m a giant prick who says all the right things at the wrong time. He got a better kiss and expressed his vulnerability, and that’s all I had to say?

Am I jealous?

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