Page 38 of Make Me Whole

Her pants turned to moans that grew into groans. Sweat beaded my chest and back as I pounded relentlessly into her. My balls tightened with a building orgasm, and so did her pussy.

She called my name. Asked for more. Cried out in pleasure. All of it fed my desire to make this last, to make this orgasm better than any other she had ever experienced.

“I’m so close, Max. Fuck . . . It’s so good!”

Her loud cries made me feel like Super Fuck. Close to my own release and greedy for her pleasure, I covered her clit with my thumb and massaged it as I continued my relentless pursuit of a joint orgasm.

Moments later, she shrieked my name and groaned. Her walls tightened around me, the pressure too much for me to resist. With a final hard thrust, I spilled inside her and groaned her name with the most powerful orgasm I had ever had.

Totally spent, I used the last of my strength to pick her up and lower to the floor. With our bodies still connected, I sat down and kissed her gently on the lips as the washer finally stopped its cycle. Sky rested against it, and I bent forward to rest my head against her chest.

Peaceful moments passed in silence, then she kissed my temple and aligned her mouth to my ear. “I imagined making love to you would be good, but this was beyond good, Max. It was life-changing.”

I agreed with her. It had been the best sex of my life, and I wanted more of it. I wanted so much more of her. But Marge had been the only woman I'd evermade loveto, and the thought of sharing that bond with someone else caused an overwhelming sense of guilt to replace the sated haze.

Without thinking, I loosened my hold around Sky.

“Don’t,” she pleaded, her voice almost a whimper.

I pulled back to look at her face. Her eyes were scrunched together as if in pain. My guilt increased.

“Don’t what?”

She sighed. “Don’t push me away like you did after the kiss and on Saturday.”

“I’m not trying to,” I replied and wanted to mean it.

“Yes, you are. I called it making love, and you released me.”

I hated that she could see so clearly through me. “I didn’t mean to. I’m just not ready for that.”

“For what?”

“A relationship,” I said honestly. I didn’t want to lie to her, and I didn’t want to run. I owed her more than that. “Making love is what couples do, and I can’t be a couple.”

She nodded and was silent for a while. I held her as best as I could and gave her some space.

“You can’t be a couple with me or at all?”

“Both,” I said honestly. “I don’t believe it’s fair to start a relationship while holding another in my heart, and Marge is still very much there.

“After she died, I had Aiden to take care of, and I had no idea what to do with him. I thought about putting a bullet in my head, but I couldn't leave the baby she loved an orphan. So, I never mourned her. I just went on living as if she were away on a business trip and would return soon. It’s the life I know how to live, and though time—and you—made living without her easier, I still don’t know how to move on without feeling like I’m betraying her.”

Another moment of silence passed. She stared at me with so much understanding it made me hate myself for putting us in this situation. She was too good for me, way too good, and it pushed me to give her the answer her eyes begged for.

“As for being in a relationship with you specifically, it’s simpler. I can’t lose Al. He’s been my brother for longer than you’ve been alive and one of two people I could count on for the past ten years. He’ll hate me if he knows what we did today or how you make me feel.”

“How’s that?”

I shifted in my seat but replied honestly. “Like a living man again.”

Finally, Sky smiled. “You make me feel like a living woman as well.”

In all this mess, at least I had that to hold on to. I had done well.

“Doesn’t change anything, Sky.”

She shook her head. “No, it doesn’t. I know that. But I don’t want to feel dead anymore. Not when I know what being alive feels like. I bet you don’t, either.”

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