Page 64 of Make Me Whole

Al called me the best friend in the world, which made me feel bad, to be honest. My plans for this trip were less than noble, and I was still lying to him about my relationship with his daughter. I wasn’t a great friend in any capacity, but for now I would play along and let him believe what he wanted.

26

SKY

Ihadn’t realized I was holding my breath until Max and my dad entered the kitchen with smiles on their lips. They were gone less than ten minutes, but the whole time, all I could think about was the “fuck it” Max said before leaving the kitchen. What was it directed at? The discussion we were having? Our deal? Me?

My mind was a mess. Even if I wasn’t pregnant with his baby, I wasn’t sure I could survive losing him. I was in love, and I wanted this child to have a good father. I could see us as a family already, and even though his more stable mood was reassuring, my hands shook with fear when he sat next to me at the table.

“While we were outside, Max had a great idea,” my dad announced as he took his seat next to Molly.

Heart pounding, I stole a glance at Max. He looked at me through the corner of his eyes and smiled like he was very pleased with himself.

Aiden propped himself on his forearms and folded his legs under him. “My dad always has the best ideas,” he boasted. “One day, we went camping, and it was raining and the tent was very small, so we only brought the sleeping bags and not the cots, so my dad lined the floors with newspapers so the sleeping bags wouldn’t get damp and cold. It was brilliant.”

“Wow!” Ella’s eyes widened as if Aiden had just described the most incredible thing in the world. Perhaps, in her mind, having a dad who takes you out on trips and gets creative to keep you safe and warm really was the most incredible thing in the world. The thought made my heart ache.

“That really is brilliant,” I agreed, staring at him. He gave me a crooked smile, clearly enjoying being praised by me and the kids. “What was today’s idea?”

Instead of Max, my dad replied. “A Thanksgiving vacation.”

“Yes, yes, YES!” the kids yelled in unison.

Molly tilted her head in confusion and looked at my dad. He quickly added, “I’m staying. The vacation is for the four of them.”

At his explanation, Molly’s expression changed from worried to excited. “Oh, then it really is an awesome idea!”

One part of me wholeheartedly agreed. A mini-vacation with Max was a dream come true and would provide some much-needed alone time for us, and perhaps, a chance for me to tell him about the baby. But there was another part of me that knew Max had only suggested going away as an attempt to keep me safe from Eli, which made me not want to go. Also, it blurred the lines between the ‘more’ I wanted and our deal far too much for my comfort.

“No.” My tone commanded all four heads to turn to me in silence.

Dad and Molly seemed confused, Max looked hurt, but the kids were downright angry. “Why the hell not?”

I narrowed my eyes at my daughter. “What did you say to me?”

She erased the anger on her face. “I’m sorry. But why?”

“Yes, why?” Max echoed.

I kept my eyes on Ella. Max’s tone was already hard enough to take. I didn’t need to add an expression to it. “Even with the company discount, the new lawyer is much more expensive than Mr. Kent was. I can’t afford the law firm and a vacation. Also, anywhere that is available a week before a big holiday will cost an arm and a leg.”

Max and my dad looked at each other with loaded glances. I shifted uncomfortably in my chair knowing that one of them would suggest paying for the trip, something I would never agree to. Ever since I left Eli, I’d been their charity case, and I hated it. There were some things I couldn’t avoid accepting their help—such as the fancy lawyer and the house—but a vacation was a whole other story.

“I have a rental cottage in San Juan Island,” Molly said, breaking the awkward silence and fixing me with a kind, motherly gaze. “The family that was supposed to rent it for the holiday canceled yesterday, and it’s too late to put it on the website again. I’ll be happy to loan it to y’all.

“I know it’s not Disney or somewhere exciting like that, but the island is beautiful, and it’s whale season, which is always fun. Also, the cottage is in a wooded area where you can relax and think about what the future holds for you. It’ll be good, sweetie.”

Deep down, I knew it would be. I was just afraid of what a long weekend away with Max would do to my heart.

“Since I won’t be the one paying, are you okay with going?” Max asked after a moment. The sadness in his voice made me afraid of what my reluctance to his brilliant idea was doing to his heart.

I sighed and smiled at him. “Yes, I am.”

The kids celebrated while my dad and Molly focused on the food. I reached under the table for Max’s hand and gave his fingers a little squeeze. Though he reciprocated with a few strokes of his thumb, I knew I had turned our already confused relationship into something ten times more awkward.

* * *

Max avoidedme from Saturday morning until late Wednesday morning when we started packing the car to drive to the island. Though he always had a good excuse for being away or not having time for me, by the time we arrived at Molly’s rental home, things between us were downright weird.

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