Page 50 of My Best Friend's Bully

“You may be right. I’ll think about it. I guess if I talk to him and nothing changes, at least I know I tried. But for now, I need to tell you something,” he says, breaking the kiss to look into my eyes. “I think I’m falling in love with you.”

My mind goes blank. What did he say?

“You… what?” I squeak.

“I love you, Jordan,” he repeats.

My heart begs me to tell him I feel the same way, that I love him, too, but flashes of my nightmare come back to me. If I admit it, if I let myself love him, I know it will mess up my focus. I’ll most likely end up flunking out of school. Well… maybe not flunking out, but scoring less than B’s and I’ll lose my scholarships. So, same thing. I’ll never become a doctor. I’ll never be able to help my parents to retire.

Over the past few weeks it has become obvious there is no way I can juggle a relationship and my schoolwork at the same time. It’s impossible.

“I-I can’t,” I stutter, trying to climb out of his lap. I feel like a monster when I see the hurt on his face.

He grabs my hand and stops me from running. “It’s okay, Jordan, you don’t have to say it back. Just stay, will you? Don’t go.”

It’s the least I can do, so I snuggle up in his lap again and lay my head against his chest. At this moment, with his heart beating against my ear, it’s easy to pretend it could last forever, but I know he’s the one card that could make this house of cards collapse.

Chapter 25

Jordan

Jordan

“Hey, save some for me,” I protest when Cole goes back for another cookie. The sleeve is almost empty, with only three lonesome cookies sitting on top of a pile of crumbs and orphaned chocolate chips.

We’re sprawled out across his living room carpet, books and papers scattered between the remnants of our snacks and cans of soda. A fire warms the room and FaerieBeast is zonked out on Cole’s lap, feet straight up in the air as she snores. He pets her round belly absentmindedly.

“Each wrong answer is going to cost you a cookie,” he says, snatching one from the package before I can slap his hand away. FaerieBeast grunts but doesn’t wake, twitching her nose.

“Not fair.” I rub my temples, fighting a headache. “I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

Cole arches one eyebrow. “A lot? Or just one particular brooding douchebag?”

I stick my tongue out and take a swallow of cherry soda. “As I said, he’s not like that. Not with me.”

Cole’s face grows serious. “You know I respect your choice to be with him, but you should see the way he is around Dad. Like, it doesn’t even matter that the guy’s in a hospital bed, Ty is still a dick to him. Not a hint of compassion.”

I shift, reaching out to pull my laptop closer. My slides are only partially done and Pamela’s messages are building up while she waits for my half of the work. I can’t blame her—I’d be losing my mind too.

“He has his reasons.” I’m glad my face is hidden behind the laptop screen. It’s not my place to reveal what Tyson told me, even if it might help smooth things over between the two of them. When Tyson is ready to talk to Cole, he will.

Cole scoffs. “I’d love to hear them. I’m dying to know what justifies the way he acts. I’ve been nothing but nice to him, I even let him stay here, and he can barely be civil to me. He’s almost civil when Mom’s around, but otherwise, all bets are off.”

I want to change the subject but I can tell Cole needs to vent so I bite my tongue and rewrite the same sentence on my slide over and over again.

“I know he’s rough around the edges,” I try again. “But he’s not like that with me. It’s the opposite. He’s kind, and thoughtful.”

“For now,” Cole mutters. “I’m just worried it’s only a matter of time before he can’t keep up the charade, and you get hurt. He’s on his best behavior for now but just wait, it’ll change.”

I sit up and turn my back to the fire, keeping my eye on the front door. I can’t understand why I’m worried that Tyson might show up without warning. Especially after Cole kicked him out. And it’s not like he’s going to miss Cole and just drop in for a visit. Still, it’s impossible to relax. I’ve been avoiding Tyson ever since that night at his place. The night he told me he loves me. I couldn’t say it back. What is the point of telling him how I feel when I know I can’t be with him? Better to stay away, even if it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I didn’t realize how much of a comfort he had become for me, not until I forced myself to give him up.

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” I snap, grabbing a cookie. “I’m not going to see him again, anyway.”

Cole sits up and FaerieBeast rolls off his lap onto his legs. She grunts, eyes still closed, and settles herself into the crevice between his thighs. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” I say through gritted teeth, because talking about it hurts. The memory is sharp and fresh and I want to bury it for a long, long time, “I told him I can’t see him. It’s too distracting. My studies were taking a hit and I’m worried about the exam coming up.”

Cole breathes out a sigh. “Thank God. I’ve been worrying nonstop since you got mixed up with him.”

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