Page 32 of My Best Friend's Bully

“We will.” I reassure her. “Why don’t you do some research on the topic and I’ll flesh out an outline.”

“Okay,” Pauline agrees. “I Cannot believe he said that,” she mutters under her breath. “Abrams can be such a dick sometimes.”

I glance over at her. “The case study, Pauline. That’s what matters right now. Focus on the research.”

She sighs and rolls her shoulders back. “You’re right, you’re right. God, I wish I had your focus sometimes. Maybe it’s not the worst thing in the world, having nothing to do but study. Don’t you get lonely, though?”

I take a moment before responding. “Honestly, I don’t. I’m always so busy I never have time to feel lonely. Sleep… study… coffee… more study… eat, sometimes. Then do it all over again. Even when I’m with the friend I was talking about, we’re studying. I guess keeping busy prevents the loneliness from creeping in.”

Before Ty, that is. Now, I spend nights awake wishing I could feel his arms around me. During my walks to school, I imagine him strolling beside me, holding my hand before sending me off to my first class with a kiss. I imagine him greeting me at my door at the end of the day, cooking a delicious dinner in my tiny kitchen.

Andthat’swhy I don’t have this damn outline done yet.

“One day, you might get smacked on the side of the head by love and you won’t have a clue what to do with it.” Pauline gives me a knowing look.

I hope she’s wrong. But is this how it happens? The constant intrusive thoughts about him, the yearning for his company? My eyesight blurs and a wave of dread rushes through me. This is bad. And she’s right. I don’t have a clue what Ishoulddo. But I know what Imustdo. There’s only one right thing to do, and it totally sucks. I have to cut off contact with Tyson before it destroys my career. Before it breaks Cole and me apart. Before I let it snatch away from me the future I’ve been working so hard and for so long to create for myself and my parents.

Chapter 17

Jordan

BythetimeIreturn home from school, it’s dinner time, and I should eat something, but I have no appetite. Instead, I rush into the shower to wash away the cold. I change into a comfortable outfit, spending a few extra minutes on my hair and makeup, giving my hair a curl. It feels like I’m applying my armor for what’s coming as I run a sweep of eyeshadow over my lids. What I want to do most is crawl under the covers of my bed and forget any of this is happening, but I know that’s not going to make this problem go away, so I pull on my coat, hat, and mittens and open the door. Before I step out, I close it again. I can’t do this. Standing in front of the door, I contemplate the situation for another minute before my rationale self forces me to muster up the courage.

I open the door again and step out into the cold to wait for an Uber, shivering despite my extra layers. The shivers are part cold, part nerves.

Snowflakes begin to fall, sticking to my eyelashes and my cheeks, and I can see their transient sparkle from the corner of my eye.

When my Uber arrives, I hop in and send a text to Cole.

Me:On my way to your place, hope that’s okay. Need to talk.

I take a deep breath and wait. My pulse pounds inside my ears as I wait for his response, but my phone remains dark throughout the car ride. He must be working, but he should be off soon and he can meet me at his house. I am not ready for this. What will his reaction be when I tell him what’s been going on between Tyson and me? Will he feel betrayed? Will he be angry? Or hurt? I imagine all of them and the thought of any one of them makes me want to curl into a ball and cry. I unlock my phone again, realizing I should see if Tyson is even at home.

Me:Almost at Cole’s place. Are you there?

Tyson doesn’t take long to respond. I see the three little dots appear before I even lock it again. Was he waiting to hear from me?

Tyson:Yeah. Should I start working on dinner?

Why does he have to be so freaking nice? I don’t want to hurthim, either, but I need to get myself out of this situation, and that means telling Tyson this has to stop. Whatever this is between us, it can’t go on. I know in my heart that it’s only going to get worse, to the point where I won’t be strong enough to say goodbye to him, so it’s better to cut it off now.

I press my forehead against the cool glass of the window, mesmerized by the swirl of snowflakes dancing in the glow of the streetlights. We pass the corner store I fled to when Tyson and I first kissed and, with anxiety and guilt churning inside my stomach, I turn back to our text chat.

Me:No, I’m not hungry. And I can’t stay long.

Because I’ll be feeling like a monster and will want to run away as soon as possible before I have to see how much this hurts them both. I’m still trying to decide whether I should talk to them together or separately when we pull up in front of Cole’s place. The ground is snowy and slick under my boots and I hold tight to the fence as I make my way up to the house. FaerieBeast barks at the door to announce my arrival.

“It’s just me, Faerie girl, settle down,” I call to her. The door is unlocked so I step inside, immediately kneeling down to give FaerieBeast the attention she’s so desperate for. “There’s my good girl. Where are your people?”

The smell of something sweet fills the room, and FaerieBeast circles around my feet leaping up on my legs when she thinks I’m taking too long to toe off my boots. The house is warm and the smell of wood smoke from the living room blends with the sweet aroma wafting from the kitchen. I hang my hat on the coat rack in the entryway and ruffle my hands through my hair to undo the hat head.

“Hello?” I call out. I hope Ty didn’t cook. I cannot eat anything right now.

“Hey.” Tyson comes down from upstairs, wearing a tight-fitting T-shirt and dark jeans. His hair is wet and pushed back out of his face but still dripping down onto his shoulders. I imagine him shirtless, water droplets cascading over his firm chest and…no. Focus.“Sorry, I thought I’d be out before you got here. Heard FaerieBeast barking, so I hurried it up. Do you want something to drink?”

“No thanks, I’m not staying long. Is Cole here?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “Not yet. I’ve got the fire going, at least let me make you a cup of tea. Or would you like coffee?”

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