Page 47 of Breaking my Billionaire Bully

“I know.”

Chapter 18

Lara

I'mshockedathowquickly things are moving with Jamie, but it's working. There are moments when I have to catch myself, when the way he holds me makes my heart skip. When he calls me beautiful and I almost believe him.

I’ve decided that if I do have some feelings for him, that's okay. As long as I rein them in, I’ll be more believable. If I come across as cold or detached, he won't believe what I need him to believe… and then he definitely won’t allow himself to get close. Only through his vulnerability will I be able to break him.

I wake up in his bed on Sunday morning, and he is awake. His naked body nuzzled against mine. He turns to look at me as I stir. His eyes are distant. He doesn’t say a word.

“Morning,” I say.

“Hey.”

“Did you sleep good?” I ask.

“Yup.” His expression doesn’t change.

Jamie is usually much more enthusiastic about the new day, and these one-word answers aren’t like him at all. Something’s obviously bothering him. It's my duty as “his girlfriend” to act like I care, and I have to admit I’m curious, so I roll over and run my fingers through his hair. I softly tap his temple.

"What's going on in that mind of yours?"

He sighs and rolls over on his back. The sigh is so deep it only heightens my curiosity and from somewhere deep within there’s a nagging feeling of unease. If I really thought of him as my boyfriend, I might be worried. I would replay the previous night, wondering if I had done something wrong. Something that might have been the cause of his bad mood.

But I don’t care, not really, right? It’s still my duty to ask, though, "Did I… do something?" I throw in the pause for added effect.

He turns so quickly I lean back, studying the concern sketched on his face. "No, of course not, baby." He tightens his arms around me. "You're perfect."

Why does he have to be like this? I can’t let myself be fooled again. He doesn’t really like me. Not really. "Then what is it? You can tell me anything, you know? I want you to be happy."

"I know." He kisses my bare chest and looks up at me, his eyes wide and more sorrowful than I've ever seen them.

"Today is the anniversary of my parents’ death."

Well, fuck. I wasn’t expecting that. I may want him to suffer the consequences of his actions, be hurt and suffer the way he so often causes others to suffer. But I'm not completely heartless. Death is an experience I understand, and grief is a friend that overstays its welcome. I squeeze his hand. "I'm sorry."

And I mean it.

His smile dips. It's the kind of expression that speaks of sadness, but that he doesn't want pity. "It was so long ago. Six years today."

I prop myself up on my elbow, resting my head on my palm. "You don't have to say that."

He looks up at me and raises an eyebrow. "Say what?"

"Everyone always says that about death. 'It was a long time ago.' As if that diminishes what you lost." I twirl my finger across his chest, playing with his hair. "Time can help with the intensity of the grief, sure, but it doesn't change what's gone, you know?"

He rolls over and rests his hand on my hip. "I guess I just don't want people to feel sorry for me. I have so much in my life. I've been lucky in ways most people could only dream about."

I cock my head. "What? Because you have money?"

His face flushes red. "God, I just sounded like a huge asshole, didn't I?"

"No, no, that's not what I meant. At all." I touch his cheek and he looks up at me. "Just because you’re fortunate doesn't mean you’re immune to pain, Jamie. Loss isn't exclusive to poor people." I chuckle softly, but when he frowns, I realize I may have offended him. I want to hurt the guy, but not like this. My plan may be to break him, but it’s not me to hurt him using something like this. "I'm sorry, that was insensitive."

He trails a finger across my lip. "It was honest. That's what I love about you."

Mmmm—say what? Did he just… did he just drop the L-word? I mean, not directly, but still. He clears his throat and blinks quickly, his nervousness showing. The tension passes, and he looks back at me again.

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