Page 84 of Code Name: Phoenix

I’ll deal with Logan and our business another time.

Jessa is lost. Part of her is still back in that dark dungeon Maxwell had her in. Her body heaves with her silent cries as I carry her across the compound.

Every few seconds, she pushes her face further into my chest, wiping her tears on my shirt. I stay silent, allowing her the space to process that she’s safe.

At my quarters, I slowly drop her bare feet to the ground. My keys are in my pocket, and I can’t reach them with her in my arms. I’m also done kicking in doors for the night.

Opening the door to my room, I step through and lead Jessa in by her arm as her free hand holds her robe around her waist. A slight pull tells me she’s beginning to shut herself off, and I can’t let her retreat from me.

I push down my anger at the situation and speak calmly. “Jessa, this is my room. We’re going to sleep here for the night. We’re only going to sleep. I’ll stay with you.”

I’m not sure if my tone hides my concern for her anymore.

“I don’t want to be touched.” She’s still swimming in her shock, but I’m happy she’s choosing to tell me how she feels.

“I won’t touch you. I won’t sleep in the bed if you don’t want me to. I’ll sleep on the floor, or by the door. Just tell me where you feel safest.”

“I feel safest in your arms. But I don’t want to be touched. That doesn’t make sense.” She pushes her fingers into her hair, fisting, then tugging on her strands as she looks to her feet in confusion.

I have an idea.

“Jessa, come with me. You need to sleep, and I want to try something. Do you trust me?”

She nods, first once to confirm, then a few more times.

She watches as I walk to the thermostat on the wall and raise the temperature. I don’t want her to feel cold. I also decide to leave the light on, but I dim it. Jessa has enough darkness around her tonight.

Turning to face her, I pull off my shirt but leave my pants on, and her eyes follow my every move.

“Wait here,” I command in the most soothing voice I can manage. I step to my closet and retrieve two of my business ties. When I turn to face her, her eyes go wide at the thought she might be bound for a second time tonight, and I shut her down before she lets her fear take over.

“They’re not for you,” I say calmly and wait for her reaction.

“What?” Her eyes move up from the ties to meet mine.

I’m hesitant about this plan, but she needs to get to a point of security, so she can sleep. “They’re for me.”

Jessa’s mouth drops open, then closes.

I kneel on the bed. Then I reach behind me and bind my ankles together with the first necktie. I hold the second one out for her to take.

“I—I don’t understand.”

“You want me close, but you don’t want to feel vulnerable. Bind my wrists, and we’ll go to sleep. You’re in charge.”

Jessa’s brows knit together as she processes my words. Then I watch as she slowly raises her hand to take the tie from me. As soon as I release it to her, I look ahead and clasp my hands behind me.

Her soft fingers send shivers up my spine as she works the fabric around my wrists. Every fourth breath of hers is still a sniffle as she works to fasten my arms together.

I close my eyes to the sound of her breath and the touch of her cool skin on my arms. I want more than anything to talk to her. I want to ask what she remembers.

But this isn’t about me. The control can’t come from me tonight. She needs to know that she has control over the room and herself right now.

Lost in my thoughts, I fail to notice she finished tying my wrists, and the sound of her gingerly clearing her throat brings me back to the room. I open my eyes and focus on her standing in front of me, wearing the shorts I left on my bed this morning.

My eyes drift down, and I notice the size difference between us as she barely manages to keep them on her hips.

“Um, I didn’t have anything else.…” Her voice trails off when she shrugs.

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