Page 111 of Code Name: Phoenix

While we don’t plan on doing much work while we’re out here, we’ve been vigilant about making sure we are online right now. Jessa is still searching for Dana, and Grizz has been sending her any small lead he finds. We’re coming up on the one-year anniversary of her disappearance, and so far everything has been a dead end.

I spend much of the time we get together now reintroducing myself to Jessa. When we met in high school, she knew one version of me. Most of what I showed her back then was who I was, but there were details I had to change to protect my cover.

I told her about my parents’ accident and what I remember of my family. She knows my experience with high school—the first time I went through it wasn’t as wonderful as the time I went through it with her. I skated through, barely passing and keeping my grades high enough to keep my teachers off my back. I shared the anger I felt at being left on my own. I grew up fast, and I lashed out by hiding myself away. As soon as I could, I joined the military.

Then I told her all about how it felt to know her. How I knew in my bones I was the luckiest man when she smiled at me. I never thought it was possible to love her more deeply than I already did, but we’ve been surprising each other a lot this past year.

A soft sigh against my chest draws my attention as Jessa stretches without untangling herself from my hold.

I kiss the top of her head. “Good morning.”

“Mmmorning.” She groggily draws out the word as she flexes her slender fingers around me.

I tilt my head to capture her gaze. “You’re sleeping better.”

She sits with my observation for a moment before she smiles and wriggles her midsection against mine.

We’ve been fully moved into our new place for a few weeks now. Jessa mentioned she doesn’t sleep well when we are on base, but she has been improving over time. Training her mind to accept she is safe is easier said than done, but I’ve noticed a change in the last week.

She’s slept through the last two nights, and she woke up after me for the first time this morning.

“Let’s grab a coffee and wake up on the patio. I have a couple of things to talk to you about.”

She leans her head away from me, looking down the length of our entwined bodies and past the foot of our bed at the coffee maker and chuckles.

I built a coffee corner in our bedroom after our first week here. I hated crossing the place in the cool mornings to turn the coffee on. The pot sits on top of a cabinet with a mini plug-in cooler that holds our creamer and the powdered cocoa and caramel I know Jessa loves.

I swing my legs off the bed and begrudgingly leave the warmth of her touch to cross the room in my underwear. She rolls over to hang off the bed and reaches for the T-shirt I tossed on the floor in our haste to enjoy each other last night.

I love it when she wears my things.

“I thought we’d try the paddleboards today if the water is calm.” I pour coffee into each of our mugs, smiling as I always do when I fill hers.

Link gave her this mug shortly after she recovered, and Jessa laughed her ass off when she saw it. The mug is black, but once it is filled with hot liquid, a hidden image appears, and they both got a kick out of it. Everyone else just stared at them. Then Jessa said it was computer code, and Link added that it was JavaScript for her cup of java. Then they laughed until Jessa’s eyes glossed over with tears.

I still don’t get the joke, but I smile because that was the moment the girl I lost returned to me.

“Oh, that’s a great idea. Just don’t be surprised if you spend the day pulling my soggy ass out of the lake.” She laughs as she opens the dresser, pulls out a pair of panties, and slips them on.

That’s pointless, I think to myself, because I’ll just be tugging them off her shortly.

I meet her at the sliding door and hand her coffee mug over, then grab a knit blanket out of the basket we keep by the door.

Jessa follows me out, shutting the door behind us and joining me under the blanket on the couch on the deck.

She slips into thought, her eyes skimming over the lake in front of us and drifting away with the gentle waves.

I don’t like to leave her in her head too long. “We’ll find her.”

The corner of her mouth twitches, and she lifts the coffee to her nose and inhales, closing her eyes. When she opens them, she looks down at her drink. “Sometimes I wonder if she is better off—wherever she is.”

I know Jessa carries a lot of guilt because of Dana’s loyalty.

“We talked about this,” I remind her. “If you find her and she is happy, you can make the decision then.”

She nods, her voice the ghost of a whisper. “I hope she is.”

I don’t tell her that there is someone back on base who may not be so willing to leave her be. Grizz has immersed himself in finding Dana, but he won’t share his reasons why with any of us.

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