Page 42 of Rigger's Mistake

She mutters something I don’t hear as Colin places a hand on the small of my back and guides me out of the room. He doesn’t drop his hand as we walk down the hall, and since my shirt is cropped, he’s touching skin, not fabric. I remember all the times he held my hand when we walked to the gas station or when he walked me to school, but this doesn’t feel like that. It doesn’t feel like him. I shouldn’t be surprised since he’s a whole new person now, but I grieve a little for the big brother of my memories.

His thumb strokes up and down my spine as he leads me toward my room, and it doesn’t feel like brotherly love at all. He burns me with his touch in a way I’ve never experienced before, confusing me. I shouldn’t like the way it feels, not in the way I do. Regardless of who we are now, he’s still my stepbrother.

“Did you get a tour?” he asks when we reach my door, his hand slowly dropping to his side.

I open my door, surprised when he follows me in. “I did. Betty is really nice. All the girls are really nice, actually.”

“They’re a good group.” He looks around at the bags still waiting to be unpacked. “Grab some hangers.”

I look at him confused. “You don’t need to help me.”

“I need to talk to you, and I’d feel better if I was doing something while we chat.”

There it is. A small glimpse of who he used to be. I remember he could never sit still, not ever. He was always moving, even if it was just his foot tapping while he sat.

“Okay.” I pull a stack of hangers down and toss them on the bed.

We work together in silence for a long time, him pulling clothes out and putting them on a hanger, me organizing them in the closet. I don’t push him to talk because I can practically see the wheels in his head turning, and I know he’ll speak once he works whatever it is out.

“I haven’t earned the right to know what’s happened since I left, and you’ve made it clear you’re not ready to tell me.”

My gut twists painfully. “Okay.”

“I went to see Ray, and he said something about him being connected now. You don’t have to tell me personal shit, but I need to know what he’s talking about.”

I sit on the edge of the bed, the heavy weight of anxiety pushing me down. “I don’t know what he’s gotten himself into.”

“You lived with the guy. You really have no idea?”

“A few months ago, some guys started coming around, usually on the weekends.” I twist the metal top of the velvet hanger around and around. “Ray would leave with them for a few hours, then come home. One night I got curious and snuck out of my room and saw him splattered with blood. Before he went to bed, he took the clothes outside and burned them. I looked in his car and found a gun in his glove box.”

“Has he been gambling still?”

I nod. “I’m assuming that’s where his money goes. I’ve been paying most of the bills since I turned eighteen, but he’s always broke and asking for more.”

The mood in the room turns hostile as Colin’s hands clench into fists, the veins in his neck popping.

“You’vebeen paying the bills?” he asks through gritted teeth.

“Yeah. It was cheaper than finding our own place, and I couldn’t afford one anyway.”

“Fuck!” He shoves the bag of clothes away and runs a hand over his head.

His violent outburst sends a bolt of fear through me, and I scoot back to the headboard, drawing my knees to my chest. The Colin I knew would never lash out like this. Though I could see the rage behind his eyes, he had enough to control to keep it reined in, at least around me.

This is yet another reminder that I don’t know who this man is.

And right now, I don’t want to.

CHAPTERELEVEN

RIGGER

I’vebeen paying Ray’s bills.

Me.

That was the deal I made with him the day I turned eighteen. He wouldn’t so much as look Vivi’s way as long as I paid him what he thought he was owed. For most of those early months, before I prospected for the club and was hired on as a mechanic at Cy’s shop, I lived off of ramen because I couldn’t afford anything else after handing over nearly all my paycheck.

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