Page 25 of Bad For A Weekend

I stare unmoving at the plump, older woman with dark skin and snow-white hair slicked back into a neat bun. I heard her; I just don’t want to do this. Anyone could walk by and see me, but there was nowhere else to set up except the kitchen bar. The living room won’t work, and the only furniture in the bedroom is a bed and dresser. I should really think about picking up a desk so I can hide when I’m being brainwashed.

“Is something wrong, Owen?” she asks in her calming tone.

“Just worried someone will walk by. The kitchen is surrounded by windows, and there aren’t any curtains or anything.”

“Do people walk by often?”

“No. Not really. The gardeners come on Tuesdays, and the pool guy comes on Fridays. But still...”

“Does your current employer know you’re in ongoing therapy?”

“No.” I run a hand through my hair. “This is personal.”

“This won’t work if we can’t continue with the treatment.”

Glancing outside, I don’t see anyone. It’s evening, and I’m off duty. Corey swims in the morning, and I’ve only seen Baylor use the pool once since I’ve been here. I should be safe, and I want to get better. Driving to therapy isn’t an option with L.A. traffic. It’d take me two hours each way.

I blow out a breath, put the noise-canceling headphones on, and connect the pulsators and light bar. Once everything is in position, I turn my attention back to Dr. Chandler.

“I’m ready.”

“Good. Close your eyes and focus on your breath.”

After one last look outside, I shut my eyes and inhale deeply before letting it go.

“Thinking back on the last week, what triggers have you had?”

“The kid I’m protecting. She has panic attacks, and she’s scared.”

“How does that make you feel?”

“Empathetic. And like I want to fix her. Because I know what it feels like, and it sucks.”

“That’s good. Sometimes being around someone who has gone through something traumatic can be triggering, but it sounds like you’re more concerned for her.”

“Yeah.”

“What about when you’re not working? Has there been anything on your mind?”

“I don’t play it through my mind as much as I used to. And being in a new place means I don’t drive by the school anymore. Honestly, other than the occasional nightmares, I’m doing good.”

“Okay. We can work with that.” She clears her throat. “When you’re ready, open your eyes and track the light.”

I want to snap at her and tell her I know how this goes, but my edginess has nothing to do with her. If Corey or Baylor walks by, I’ll have explaining to do, which is the last thing I want.

After relaxing my shoulders and unclenching my jaw, my eyes flutter open and lock on the red light moving back and forth on the light bar. The devices I’m holding begin to pulse a rhythmic beat.

“I want you to go through the event from start to finish. When we’re through, you can tell me what, if anything, is still causing some anxiety. That will tell us what we still need to work on.”

I clear my throat and begin. “It was a Tuesday, and I was at the high school. I just finished meeting with the principal and was walking down the hall when I saw Ryan. I smiled and waved him over. He was supposed to be in class, and since he had a history of skipping, I wanted to ask him what was up.

“He smiled back, and I thought he was lifting his hand to wave. I didn’t realize he had a gun in his hand until it was too late. He aimed right at me and shot. It didn’t register I’d been hit, so I ran to the next hallway over to take cover. I heard more shots, and the principal came over the speaker, saying we were in lockdown and that it wasn’t a drill. More gunfire, these coming directly over the speaker, and I knew”—I notice my heart rate pick up, and I swallow the lump in my throat—“he’d been shot. I went to pull my firearm out but couldn’t move my right arm without feeling burning pain. I looked down and saw the blood dripping from my fingertips. That’s when I realized I’d been shot.

“It made me mad. I was mad at Ryan but also at myself. Because I missed it. Ryan was one of the kids I worked with whenever I was at the school, and somehow I didn’t pick up on how lost he was. But I didn’t have time to think about that, so I pushed through the pain and got my gun out. On both sides of the hall, I saw teachers pulling the blinds shut on their windows and heard them pushing things in front of the doors.

“I crept back to where I first saw Ryan, but he was long gone. Walking past the main office, I saw all three women who worked there on the ground in puddles of their own blood. One of them, Stacy, was moving. She was clawing at the wound in her neck, her eyes blinking rapidly. I had to make a choice. Try and save her or go after Ryan. I didn’t know what to do until I heard the assistant principal whispering to get my attention. She was hiding under a desk in the main office.

“I dragged Stacy over to her and quietly told her to keep pressure on her wound. Once they were okay, I took off again. The shots seemed to never end, and I knew he’d moved on from the handgun to a semi-automatic. I followed the sound until I was so close, my ears rang from the sharp sound of gunfire echoing in the hallway.

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