Page 37 of Grump Daddy

“Is he working long hours and forgetting you exist?”

I sighed. “No, but—”

“Then what are we talking about here?” she says. “Has it occurred to you that he might actually be changed for the better? I mean, for real, this time? Is it really such a reach to believe that the experience of being a parent has actually settled him down?”

I laugh a little. “I really am insane, aren’t I? I mean, just now, he’s in the bedroom with the fan on and he’s sound asleep. Meanwhile, I’m climbing the walls. Why isn’t he climbing the walls with me? ”

“Do you hear yourself? You can’t seriously be expecting him to lose sleep just because you can’t sleep. That’s psychotic.”

She’s right. Itiscompletely insane.

“Look, this isn’t about whether or not he cares if you’re asleep tonight,” she says. “This is about you thinking this is the first step to him going back to the way he used to be, isn’t it? You’re afraid that it’s this today and him forgetting about you tomorrow. Am I right?”

“Maybe,” I say. “I mean, is it so bad that I’m this gun-shy about him?”

She sighs and says, “Sarah, all I know is that you have two choices if you want to keep your sanity right now. Either accept that he’s changed and stay with him or don’t accept it and go back to your own apartment.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“And yet,” she says. “It actually is. Now, go and sleep in the guest room until you decide what you really want to do.”

After hanging up, I traipse to the guest room, still feeling miserable and completely out of control of my life. I feel lighter after venting to Jennie, but leaving behind the past is not as easy as she makes it sound.

What she says makes sense, though. I’m making myself crazy over whatcouldhappen. Not what’s happening. If I keep doing this to myself, I was going to come to a point where I have to choose… and I wasn’t ready to do that just yet.

I get into the spare bed and pull the comforter over my body and try to relax. Finally, I fall into slumber.

I wake up early the following day, make the bed, and head to the kitchen to make some tea.

My emotional breakdown last night doesn’t seem as bad in the light of day. I have to give myself a break. This is an entirely new place for me, and it’s been six years since Jack and I were together under one roof. I was really overreacting.

I shower, feeling myself perking up even more, and change into fresh clothes.

I went to Jack, but he was still sleeping. I was hungry, so I decided to make some pancakes for breakfast. I was in the process when I saw Jack walking out of the room entirely dressed in his professional attire. He looked so attractive, all cleaned up with his black hair slicked back. He looked like he was ready to go out and conquer the world. I couldn’t help but have a thought to be annoyed by all the work he did. Damn! I sound like one clingy girlfriend who doesn’t let his boyfriend go to work. I immediately brushed off my thoughts.

He’s ready to leave for the office. I’m annoyed when he doesn’t say good morning right away, just slides past me and grabs a cup of coffee.Deep breath.I remember he’s never been a morning person like I am. It takes him a few minutes to jumpstart his brain.

“Morning,” I offer and face him.

“Good morning.” He kisses my cheek. “Hey, you disappeared last night. I went to check on you and saw you were sleeping in the guest room. Everything okay?”

“I’m fine. I was just feeling antsy and tried a different bed. I’m surprised you noticed. You seemed to be sleeping comfortably.”

“I get it,” he says. “It’s an adjustment.” He sips his coffee. “I was going to go in a little early since Kyle’s mom is taking Martin to school.”

“Pancakes aren’t ready. So if you leave early, you are on your own.” I wink at him, waving the spatula in the air.

“I can wait,” he says, grazing his fingers along my cheek. “Are you sure you are feeling okay?”

“Fine,” I say pleasantly, stuffing all my feelings down.

I hand him a plate of pancakes to distance him from me.

“Mmm, yum,” Jack says after taking a bite.

“What’s ‘yum’ about it? It’s the box pancake mix, Jack,” I say brightly. “Is this your new way of flirting?”

“No, no. These pancakes are infused with your love,” he chuckles back.

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