Page 132 of Pomegranate Seeds

Priscilla looked down. “I don’t believe you. If you don’t even give me your trust, what the fuck can you even give me?”

I didn’t have any answers. I have given her nothing. I only took.

To my silence, Priscilla looked up, and I saw that a few tears escaped her eyes. I wanted to brush her cheeks dry but knew she would not let me. She kept me away. She wanted me away.

It was torture.

She sniffed and straightened her back. “Do you love me, Antonio?”

My throat tightened. “Priscilla…”

“No! Just tell me.” She fluttered her eyes to keep remaining tears inside. “I know what we talked about before. I know you never even let me say it. But I need to know. Do I even get anything out of this?”

“I’ll give you everything,” I plead even though it was a lie. I would give her everything except an answer because I knew she was not going to like it.

Because I fucking didn’t know what was the answer. When I looked at Priscilla, my whole body filled with warmth. The thought of being away from her tore me apart. She was my joy and my pain. She was my everything.

But I didn’t know if it was love.

I couldn’t remember what love felt like. I thought it was what I felt when I visited my mother’s grave but what I felt for Priscilla was different than that. It was more intense than anything else.

I wanted to tell her those things.

She didn’t let me. “Don’t tell me stories, Antonio. It is either yes or no.” Her voice cracked as she asked again, “Do you love me?”

Logical Antonio would believe every question had a yes-no answer. I didn’t know which Antonio I was at this moment, but I didn’t believe that. Both of those answers would be a lie.

I could not lie to her again.

“I can’t answer that,” I said.

Priscilla nodded, and another tear moved down on her perfect porcelain cheek. “So, no,” she murmured. “I can’t do it, Antonio. I needsomething. I settled for your trust, your affection, but you took them away as well. I can’t stay here.”

She moved away from the kitchen. I followed her and watched as she called for the elevator. My heart thumped like crazy.

I was not expecting her to leave over something stupid like this.

“Where are you going?”

“Away from you.”

“Don’t fucking do this.” I got closer. I would just hold her if I had to.

Priscilla shook her head. “I cannot bear seeing you, Antonio. I cannot do it if I don’t get anything.”

“This is fucking stupid.” I pulled the jacket from her hand, but she just reached for another. “You know you have my everything, Priscilla.”

She turned to me with fire in her eyes. “I don’t have your everything.”

I saw my opportunity. I didn’t like fighting her, but her anger was good. Everything was better than her sadness. I wanted her to shout at me. I wanted her to hit me. Anything to stop her tears because I couldn’t take them.

“I am not letting you go.”

Priscilla shook her head and looked at me with disbelief. “You can’t do that. It is not that easy this time, Antonio. This time we are having this fight.”

Not so easy this time. Because it was always so easy for us. We would always solve our problems with sex.

It was not healthy at all.

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